


End of Days

by angelwings80



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: F/M, Infant Loss, Loneliness, Love/Hate, Post-Apocalypse, Pregnancy, Survival
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-30
Updated: 2018-06-10
Packaged: 2018-08-18 16:18:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 30,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8168192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelwings80/pseuds/angelwings80
Summary: Jon wakes up to find the World a very different place.  All humans have disappeared without a trace and he is forced to learn how to survive on his own.
It has been years since he saw another face in person and he isn't prepared for finding the beautiful redheaded girl in his house.
Now he has an even bigger challenge, not only to survive but to protect someone he can't live without.





	1. Survival

**Author's Note:**

> Something that popped into my head when I was at work tonight. I was thinking of what I would do if I had to survive a zombie takeover (I know, lame) and this just came to me. Let me know if I should continue this one on.

_How long had it been?_

Jon sat on the porch of the farm house, staring off into the distance and trying to figure out how much time had passed since the World had come to an end.  Or at least he thought it had come to an end.  From what he could tell, he was the last man standing, alone in a world that had once been full of people, seven billion from the last thing he had read on the internet.  He vaguely remembered reading an article about how the Earth was only able to fully sustain two billion people yet due to human nature and the biological impulse to reproduce, the population had managed to spiral out of control and end up being nearly four times that.  The scientists quoted in the piece had blamed global warming and world hunger on the population explosion, a theory that made sense though Jon would be self-admittedly full of shit if he claimed to truly understand what they were talking about. 

He had been a soldier before everything went to hell in a handbasket.  A damn good one, some would even say lethal, but a soldier nonetheless.  His skill set was limited to warfare, strategy, and knowing how to kill another human with objects one wouldn’t normally consider a weapon.  He almost laughed at the irony that the only thing he was good at was no longer needed.

In the time since it happened, he had learned a few new survival tactics.  For starters, he learned how to grow his own fruits and vegetables.  Gone were the days of supermarkets and online ordering, now he had to really learn how to survive.  His first winter on his own had been brutal.  The majority of his crops had failed to thrive and the ones that had were lost because he hadn’t understood the need for a root cellar.  He had managed to gather farm animals, a collection of cows, pigs, chickens, and even a few horses from the neighboring properties but he hadn’t been able to bring himself to slaughter any of the animals.  He was thankful for the eggs from the chickens, otherwise he probably would have starved.  That was another set of questions that went through his mind as he sat and pondered his changed set of circumstances.  Why did the animals remain when all the humans were gone?  They were still actively reproducing and going on as if nothing had happened.  He had also noticed a sharp increase in the number of predators around the farm though they never came near him, they would nick a few chickens here and there but he seemed to be safe.  As the spring thawed the ice and snow, Jon forced himself to get over his aversion to killing the animals on the farm.  For one, he needed the meat for sustenance.  There was no way around that.  And two, the animals also had to eat and in order to maintain the farm, he couldn’t allow them to reproduce without culling the herd. 

If he were to take a guess, the humans had disappeared about four years ago yet he didn’t have any more answers now than he did when it happened.  He still played the day he woke up in his new life and the path that had led him here over and over in his head.

_The sun was coming through the curtains, shining on his face and waking him from a dead sleep.  He groaned as he squinted against the light, his head pounding and his bladder threatening to explode.  Getting out of bed, he ambled into the bathroom, pissing into the tub because he hadn’t gotten around to fixing the toilet.  There were dirty clothes everywhere, his personal hygiene products strewn all over the counter, and a sink full of beard trimmings.  It had been over a month since he had come home from serving at the Wall, receiving an honorable discharge after dedicating his entire life to protecting the borders of Westeros.  His last mission had nearly cost his life, his body scarred and battered from knives that had sheared through his chest and abdomen.  As he lay in the snow, surrounded by his own blood and knowing it was still pouring from him body, he thought about how different he would live his life if he survived this.  He would buy a farm, live off the land…and stay the fuck away from people._

_So far he had spent his time as a newly appointed civilian in a bottle, his preference being Jameson or Jack Daniels.  The Watch had cut him a fat check to thank him for his years of service and his pension was lucrative enough that he didn’t have to seek work, or even leave his house if he didn’t want to._

_Today was going to require him stepping out into society, something he only did when absolutely necessary and much to his displeasure, it was unavoidable today.  He had to go to the hardware store to get the parts to fix his toilet, otherwise he would be shitting in a bucket and even he was more civilized than that._

_He stood in the shower for a long time, letting the hot water pour over his sore muscles and wash away the stench that seemed to follow his nights of drinking.  Once he was dressed and at least reasonably presentable, he walked out the door.  He couldn’t put his finger on it but there was something strange about his neighborhood.  Usually there was kids running up and down the streets, hollering to each other, and usually being little shitheads.  Today it was silent.  Getting in his car, his uneasy feeling increased as he drove down the streets.  He hadn’t seen a single person.  Not one._

_When he got to the hardware store, he went to the plumbing section, gathering everything he needed and making his way to the cash register.  He appreciated the fact that the store was empty, one less anxiety provoking social situation he was able to avoid.  Standing at the register, he waited for several minutes before ringing the little silver bell on the counter.  A few minutes later, he rang it again.  No response.  He scoured the store aisles looking for an employee but found nobody, not a soul.  Strange.  Jon mentally tallied up the cost of his items, adding an extra twenty onto it to cover tax and slid the cash underneath the register with a note detailing what he had purchased.  He may be a drunk but he wasn’t a fucking thief._

_Tossing the items in the trunk of his car, he looked around.  Once again he realized there was nobody around him.  The town center was always packed this time of day, even for a small town like this one which was mostly a farming community with a few small neighborhoods mixed in.  His stomach did flips, his nerves leading him to get into the car and rush home._

_When he came through the door, he grabbed his laptop and sat down at the dining room table.  He looked for anything that could explain what was going on and within minutes, he was in a full blown panic.  There wasn’t a lot of information about it but from the few sources he could find, people had started randomly disappearing into thin air around eight p.m. the night before.  It had caused a widespread panic, the testimonies of the witnesses being posted online rapidly until they began to dwindle off, the last one being timestamped at 7 a.m. this morning.  Just a few hours ago….._

_Other than the lack of people, everything else seemed to be normal.  The electricity was still on, there was water and gas, hell, he even still had the internet though fat lot of good that was going to do with nobody to update anything.  He searched news sites from other Countries and the story remained the same, regardless of time zone or location._

_Over the next few days, he kept expecting to see people.  That this was just a huge joke and things would go back to normal but it wasn’t to be.  After a few months, it became clear that he was alone in the world.  Eventually the internet did go down and within weeks, electricity and gas was gone.  The water supply remained so at least that was something.  One thing that had surprised him was his loneliness._

_He was a loner by nature, keeping his friend circle small and his dating circle even smaller.  In fact, at thirty, he had only had two girlfriends in his life.  Ygritte, a firecracker with hair to match her fiery personality and Val, a pretty little blond soldier who had enraptured him when she joined his unit.  Both women were fierce with a sharp tongue and an intelligence and wit to match.  Ygritte had been killed on a mission and according to the final report sent to the government, there was a good chance her death had been a result of friendly fire.  He hadn’t been there when she took the hit but he held her in his arms as she died.  His relationship with Val had ended as a result of his refusal to ever attach himself permanently to another woman after he had lost Ygritte.  He loved Val.  He loved everything about her and she had loved him.  Love held them together through two years, six duty stations, and even when they split up, they had remained best friends until she died in a car crash a few years ago.  One of his biggest regrets in life was his refusal to marry her.  Valerie Snow had a nice ring to it and if he hadn’t been shit for brains, he would have put a ring on her finger._

_When it became clear that he wouldn’t be able to maintain himself where he was living, he began to drive out to some of the farms on the outskirts of the town.  Jon knew he had to find a place that provided the land he needed to grow food and raise livestock.  Ultimately had chosen a rather large house about 10 miles outside of the main part of town.  The house itself was 4 bedrooms and sat on open land that had a lakeshore about 20 acres from the house.  It also had a gigantic barn with pens and chicken coups already built.  The location was close enough that he could still have easy access to his home should the owners of the farm house reappear though he didn’t anticipate that being the case._

_For the first time since everyone disappeared, hell, for the first time since he had gotten out of the military, he had a purpose.  His days were busy from sun up to sun down.  He had been pleasantly surprised to find that the property had a self-sustaining electricity source in the form of windmills on the property and solar panels on the roof.  The water was still good, coming from a well that was fed by the lake.  It had taken some ingenuity on his part but after a couple of weeks of trial and error, he had managed to create a water heating system with things he took from other homes in the area and celebrated by sitting in the tub of hot water until it had gone cold._

_The first winter had tested his endurance.  His food stocks were low due to a ruined crop and his lack of planning.  Being one man, he had gotten into the habit of driving into town every few days to get supplies, only taking what he would use in that time.  When the blizzard hit, he had been locked in the house for nearly two months, the snow too high to get through.  Living on eggs from the chickens he had brought onto the enclosed porch, he had to ration his vegetables and rely on vitamins he had found in the house.  Every day that the snow level dropped, he thanked whoever was looking out for him, if there was anyone._

_When the spring thaw came, Jon went back into action.  He had found an eighteen wheeler on the side of the road with the keys still in the ignition.  He was able to drive into town and use the truck to haul large amounts of canned food and supplies back to the farm.  The barn became the storage and by the time the following winter came, he had built a root cellar to hold his harvest, collected twelve deep freezers to hold the meat from the animals he had slaughtered, and a barn with enough canned goods to sustain a man for his life and then some.  He even managed to amass a huge collection of DVD’s and the biggest television he had ever seen in his life, something that made the long hours of winter pass easier._

Jon knew he had passed four or five winters at this point but he wasn’t exactly sure which one it was.  Had he been thinking, he would have found a way to mark the days but he was too busy figuring out how to survive on his own.  Plus, was there even a point to keeping track when he was the last man on Earth?  It’s not like he had to be at an appointment or was going to be celebrating Christmas.  The weather gave him a decent estimation of what time of year it was and that suited him just fine.  

He had just adjusted to the permanency of the new World when he was thrown yet another curve.  After sobering up, Jon had cleaned up his little house in town and made the needed repairs to it.  He wasn’t sure what the point was but sometimes he would sleep there when his errands would take longer than expected, preferring to avoid driving in the dark on the country roads.  He would be lying if he said he didn’t like being able to be in his home, ignoring reality while pretending that life was still as it had been.  The farm house had become his home but this little house was still just as important to him.

He had been cleaning out the winter dust and making a few repairs on the house in town.  The spring had brought warmer days and the snow was nearly gone.  When he had gone into the house, he had an immediate sense that something was off.  It didn’t smell musky or dusty at all.  In fact, it smelled almost….pretty.  There was some type of floral scene floating in the air, something strange and out of place in his house.  He explored, poking around and sniffing to find the source of the smell, his ears perking up when he thought he heard a noise.  Walking into the basement, he flicked on the light and saw a quick motion out of the corner of his eye.

_Shit…an animal got into the house._

Following the source of the movement, he looked around trying to find the critter.  He didn’t see anything until he moved to the side, the sun streaming through the tiny window and revealing something that caused Jon to jump back, tripping over himself and falling on his ass.  The beam of light had exposed a head full of red hair, sparkling and bright.  When he got back to his feet, he looked closer, ending up eye-to-eye with the biggest and prettiest blue eyes he had ever seen in his life.

“Holy shit!” he yelled.  The girl with the red hair jumped.  “I’m sorry!  Sorry!”  He raised his hands in apology and to show her that he wasn’t armed and had no intention to hurt her.  “I haven’t seen anyone in years!”

The pretty girl seemed shaky, her body tense and clenched.  Her voice was barely above a whisper.  “Are you real?”

Jon realized that she probably hadn’t seen another human in years either.  “Yes, I’m real.  My name is Jon.  Can I help you up?”  He reached a hand to her, she took it hesitantly and rose to her feet.  “What is your name?”

“Sansa,” she said quietly.  “Sansa Stark.”


	2. Learning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jon and Sansa learn more about each other.
> 
> Jon and Sansa begin getting used to one another. Jon starts working on the house to make Sansa more comfortable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Something of a slow chapter with the intention of giving a little bit of Sansa's background. More will come out as we go, with certain things pertaining to what will happen in the story arc. I've already mapped out generally what the storyline is and I'm adding to it. I'm pretty excited about this story.

Once Jon had helped the girl get to her feet, he stepped back.  His hand felt funny.  He hadn’t touched the warm skin of another person in so long that it felt almost foreign to him.  She was shaking and her breathing sounded spastic. 

“Have you seen any other people since it happened?” Jon asked immediately.  “How did you end up here?  Do you know what happened?”  His words were rapid and desperate.

“What?  Um…no…I haven’t…um…” Sansa stumbled over her words.  “I uh…..”

“So you have been on your own too?  Were you able to find out anything that might explain this?”  Jon continued his questioning.

“What?” Sansa’s eyes were moving rapidly around the room as she moved slowly sideways.  “I don’t know…”  Out of the corner of her eye she saw a letter opener sitting on the kitchen counter and lunged for it.  Within a second she had it in her hand and pointed it at Jon. 

Jon took a step back, raising his hands.  “I’m not going to hurt you.  You don’t have to be afraid of me.  Please put that down, it wouldn’t help you anyway.”

Sansa didn’t lower the opener, she gripped the handle tighter and kept her eyes focused on him.  When he took a step towards her, she swung it at him, her eyes going wide when he caught her wrist and turned it quickly, her weapon falling to the tile with a clinking sound.

“I told you,” Jon said.  “I won’t hurt you.”  He released her wrist and dipped down to pick up the letter opener.  He tossed it back up on the counter before moving away from her to give her enough space to feel comfortable.  “Let’s go sit down and talk okay?  Just talk.  I won’t touch you.”

Jon waved his arm, directing her to the living room.   She didn’t move so he went into the room and sat down on the couch, watching her and waiting for her to join him.  Slowly, she walked to the loveseat on the other side of the coffee table and sat down.  Her back was straight and her muscles tensed.

“Take a deep breath and try to relax,” Jon said.  “I know you’re scared but I promise you have nothing to fear from me.  I’m actually amazed to see another person.  The last thing I’d want to do is harm you.”

“This is your house,” she said quietly.  “This is your stuff.”

“Aye, it is.”  Jon said.  “Or it was I guess I should say.  I am living outside the town on a farm.  This is where I lived before everyone disappeared.  Where do you live?”

“I don’t live anywhere,” she said.  “I’ve been staying here for a few days but I will move on.  I didn’t know this house belonged to someone that was still here.  I didn’t break anything or steal anything, I swear.”

“I wouldn’t care if you did,” Jon said.  “If there is something in this house you need, please feel free to take it.  Your clothes look worn through.  Obviously you haven’t been taking what you need as you go.”

“No, I haven’t.”  Sansa fidgeted with her fingers.  “I don’t want to take people’s stuff in case they come back.”

“Sansa, they aren’t coming back.  I think we’re it unless you know something I don’t know,” he said.  “You need to do whatever you have to do to survive.”

Sansa stood up.  “I will get my bag and be on my way.  I’m sorry for imposing on you.”

Standing up, Jon paused for a moment to get his thoughts together.  “You don’t have to go.  You are welcome to be here.”

“I can stay in this house?” Sansa asked. 

“Of course,” Jon said.  “Though there aren’t any utilities here.  Or food actually.”

Sansa’s eyes lit up at the word food, something Jon didn’t overlook.

“Are you hungry Sansa?” he asked.  “When was the last time you ate?”

“I ration my food,” she said.  “It’s getting harder to find food that won’t poison me.”

“When did you last eat?” he asked again.

“The day before yesterday,” she said. 

Jon could tell she had been starving.  The bones in her wrist and face protruded.  Her skin had an unhealthy tinge to it, indicating that whatever she had been eating wasn’t healthy and she was clearly suffering from nutrient deficiency.  Even in her current condition, she was pretty, beautiful in fact.  Her waist length red hair was accentuated by her blue eyes and alabaster skin.  She was tall and lean, her body movements elegant.

Jon dug through his backpack, producing a bag of beef jerky and holding it out to her.  She didn’t reach for it.

“No thank you,” she said.  “I’m good.”

“No you aren’t.  You are skin and bones.  Please eat,” Jon said.  He shook the bag towards her again, this time she took it.

She stood nibbling on a piece of the dried meat, taking little bites and chewing carefully.  Jon could see she was fighting with herself, clearly she wanted to shove the jerky into her mouth by the handful.  It bothered him to see her like this. 

“Sansa,” he said.  “I have to go back to the farm for something but I’m going to come right back.  Will you stay here until I do?”

Sansa nodded slowly.  Digging through his bag, he pulled out a water bottle and handed it to her.  She smiled slightly, taking the bottle and swallowing big gulps.  Jon smiled back at her, he was glad she had allowed herself to give him some type of friendly gesture.

“I’ll be back,” Jon said as he walked out the door.  “Please don’t leave.”

Back at the farm, Jon began gathering supplies.  He loaded his jeep with food, clothing, and water as quickly as he could, speeding to get back to the house in town.  By the time he got back, he had only been gone a little over an hour.

“Sansa?” He called her name quietly when he came in.  “Sansa?”

She wasn’t in the living room or the kitchen so he went down the hallway peeking into each room until he found her.  She was in his bed, fast asleep.  He quietly sat down in the chair next to the bed and watched her.  Her skin was already looking better, her cheeks slightly pink and the dark circles under her eyes didn’t seem as severe. 

Jon unloaded the car, bringing the goods into the house.  The sun was going down and the temperature was dropping.  The house didn’t have heat so he lit a fire and found a few extra blankets, a couple of which he took to cover Sansa to keep her warm.  There was no way he was going to leave her by herself so he settled down on the couch, losing himself in thought before falling asleep.

Jon was awake well before Sansa.  He built a fire in the yard and used it to boil water to make porridge for their breakfast.  Bringing the pot into the house, he found Sansa sitting on the couch.

“Good morning,” Jon said.  “How did you sleep?”

“Very well,” Sansa murmured.  “Thank you.”

“Good.  I’m glad.  Have some breakfast.”  Jon pointed towards the pot he had set on the table.  “There’s plenty.  Eat until you you’re full and then eat some more.” 

When Sansa had eaten her fill, Jon handed her a bag that had a few clothing items in it.  “Sorry, it’s guy clothes but I didn’t really have a reason to collect girl stuff.  We can go to some of the stores around here and get you some stuff that fits you.”

“This is fine,” she said.  “I really appreciate you helping me.”

“Hey, can you cook?” Jon asked. 

“What?” Sansa asked. 

“Can you cook?” Jon repeated.  “I can’t cook worth a fuck.  It would be nice to have decent meals again.”

Sansa laughed to spite herself.  “Yes, I can cook!”

“Good,” Jon said.  “I think between the two of us, we can keep us fed.  Do you want to go home and take a shower?  I have hot water at the farm.”

“How did you get hot water?” Sansa asked surprised.  “I thought all the gas and electricity was gone now.”

“It is but I’ve had plenty of time to dedicate to problem solving,” he said. 

“I appreciate the offer but I think I’ll stay here if that is still okay with you,” Sansa said.  “If it’s a problem, I can find another place to stay.”

“No, it isn’t a problem.  But I have to get back to the farm to feed the animals and do some work,” he said.  “I don’t want to leave you alone here.”

“I’ve been on my own for years,” Sansa said.  “I’ll be fine.  Is someone going to break in and murder me?”

For someone he had known less than 24 hours, the thought of harm coming to her made his chest seize.  “There’s no way to know.  Until yesterday, I thought I was the last man on Earth.  We have no way of knowing if there are other people like us.  But I’m more concerned about the animals.  I’ve noticed there are a lot of bobcats and coyotes these days.  I’ve even seen quite a few wolves.”

“I will be okay.  Go take care of your farm,” Sansa said.

Against his better judgement, he left her in the town house and made his way to the farm.  He spent the majority of the day with her at the forefront of his mind, going through his daily chores without noticing what he was doing.  By early afternoon, he had finished his tasks.  Sitting down at the dining room table, he started making a list of all the repairs he needed to do to the town house to make it livable for Sansa.  His first job was going to be getting her electricity and hot water. 

Before leaving to go back to town, he grilled some meat and fried some potatoes.  He packed some other food items and began driving towards the house.  As he was driving, he passed the supermarket and stopped.  He went down the aisles that he had never explored, looking for the items he knew a woman would need and a few things he thought she would enjoy having like hair ties and pretty smelling soaps.  Tomorrow he would take her to the department store in town so she could get some clothes.

Sansa was mopping the floor when he knocked on the door.  When she came to the door, she gave him a strange look.

“Why are you knocking?” she asked.

“I don’t know,” Jon said.  “Seems like the polite thing to do.”

“But it’s your house,” she responded. 

“Um…not really,” Jon said.  “This is your house now.”

“Jon, I don’t expect you to give me your home.”

“It’s not my home, it’s your home.  It’s just my house.  I would like you to make yourself comfortable here if it is what you want.”  Jon fidgeted nervously.  “Can you help me bring some stuff in?”

“Of course,” she said.  Following him to the car, they unloaded the car.

Sansa began putting away the food while Jon began his electricity project.  He didn’t have the means to install electricity like he had at the farm but he did have several high power generators and as long as he kept her stocked with gasoline, she would be able to have power in the house.  When the lights turned on, Sansa jumped, startled by the popping sound and bright lights in the dusk of the evening. 

When Jon came into the house, he smiled as he watched her walking from room to room, turning light switches on and off.  The amazement in her eyes amused him. 

“You’ll have hot water before too long,” Jon said.  “But the heater is set up on gas and there’s nothing I can really do for that right now.  I was thinking we could move the bed into the den so you could use the fireplace for heat.”

“Yes, I think that would work.  I’ll move the bed later,” Sansa said.  She went back into the kitchen to finish wiping down the counters and arrange the cabinets.  Without saying a word, Jon strolled down the hallway, on his way to the bedroom.

“Jon!” Sansa called.  “Supper is ready.”

Jon came into the dining room, his mouth practically watering.  The smell of the food made his belly grumble.  Sitting down, he looked over his plate.  He wasn’t sure this was the steak and potatoes he had brought with him.  The meat had been sliced up and mixed with pasta, mushrooms, and vegetables.  The potatoes were seasoned with something he couldn’t identify but he practically moaned when he took the first bite.

“Wow,” Jon said.  “You weren’t kidding when you said you could cook.”

“Well…I didn’t cook it really.  I just added onto what you did,” she said before beginning to eat.

“I think we make a good team,” Jon said lightly.  The look Sansa gave him dropped the jovial tone in the room.  The two of them sitting in silence for a few moments.

“Sansa, how did you get here?  Where have you been?  What have you been doing?  Where are you from?” Jon asked.

“That’s a lot of questions,” Sansa said. 

“You don’t have to answer them,” Jon said.  “I just need to ask them I suppose.”

“That’s fair enough,” she said.  Putting her fork down, she took a sip from her glass and wiped her mouth with a napkin.  “I am originally from California.  I grew up right outside of Los Angeles.  I lived there with my parents until this whole thing happened.”

“Were you in college?” he asked.

Sansa smiled, looking down at her plate.  “No, I was 14.  I was a freshman in high school.”

“What?” Jon was surprised.  “You were just a kid when you were left on your own?”

“It’s not like my parents intended to do it, jeez,” Sansa said defensively. 

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Jon said.  “I’m just shocked that a girl as young as you was able to survive on your own this long.  So that means you’re only like….17 now?”

“I’m 18,” Sansa whispered.  “Though most days I feel like I’m 40.”

“I know that one,” he chuckled.  “It has certainly been a long four years.  How did you get from California to here?”

“I drove.  I took cars as I found them.  I didn’t even know how to drive when I started my first car!”  She laughed. 

“Wow, so what made you choose this place to settle?”

“I didn’t,” she said.  “Technically, you kind of did.”  A smile played on her lips.  “I was just staying long enough to rest up and be on my way.  I was hoping to find people somewhere.  I guess technically I achieved my goal.”

“So are you planning on moving on?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” she said.  “I haven’t thought that far ahead.  It’s been so long since I’ve actually felt safe.  It’s a nice change.”

“I’m glad you feel safe,” Jon said.  “When I first saw you I didn’t know what to think.  I figured you’d run away from me.”

“I certainly considered it,” she said.

“Do you want to know about me?” He asked.  “Seems fair since I got nosy about you.”

“I know about you,” she said.  “You were a soldier who served at the Wall.  You apparently had just retired from the military when this happened.  You also seem to be a drinker.”

“That’s pretty fucking accurate,” he said.  “How did you know that?”

“I was in your house for a few days before you found me,” she said.  “I explored.  I went through everything but I thought you were gone.  I just liked being able to connect with another human being, even if you didn’t exist anymore.”

 

“That’s understandable,” Jon said kindly.  “I have done the same.  I always have a weird feeling in my belly when I go through the homes though.  Like I’m invading on a someone’s life.  So what did you think of me before you met me?”

“I thought you were handsome.”  She blushed.  “But I thought your face didn’t match your life.  Your face is soft and kind.  It didn’t go with you being a soldier.”

Jon smiled bashfully.

“I think your face matches your personality though,” she said. 

Jon stood up.  “I’ll clean up.  Go take a shower and I’ll get the fire places going.  I already moved your bed into the den.”

“Are you going back to the farm tonight?” she asked.

“Um…yeah, I think so.  I have to get a really early start in the morning or I’d stay.  Do you want to go stay at the farm tonight?” Jon asked.

“Thank you but I’m going to go ahead and take a nice hot bath.  I will see you in the morning,” she said. 

Once Sansa went into the bathroom, Jon started the fires and washed the dishes.  He had just put away the last dish when Sansa came into the kitchen.  He slid a cup of hot tea over to her.  “I’m about to take off.  I’ll be back as soon as I finish the stuff at the farm and I’ll take you over to the Kmart so you can get clothes and whatnot.”

Sansa walked him to the door, standing in the doorway for a moment.  “Good night Jon.”

“Good night Sansa, I’ll see you tomorrow.”  He put his baseball cap on and went to his truck.

Sansa waited until he had pulled out of the driveway before she closed and locked the door.  She felt at peace when she crawled into the bed, clean and warm…and not alone in the World.


	3. Regrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jon and Sansa get to know each other better. 
> 
> Something unexpected happens and nature makes it even worse.

Jon found Sansa fascinating.  It had been two months since he found her in the basement of his house and he still didn’t know much more about her than she had told him in their first conversations.  What he did know was she was beautiful, funny, and probably one of the most intelligent people he had ever met.  This girl was fierce but with a vulnerability he found endearing.  Jon had spent years afraid but that seemed to have faded away in the weeks since they had found one another.  He no longer worried about what had happened or what the future would hold, he had a reason to focus on the here and now.  His deliverance from fear, panic, and anxiety had come in the form of a little redheaded girl who smiled so sweetly her eyes practically sparkled.

The majority of the upgrades to the house had been completed.  He had even managed to install solar paneling so she wouldn’t have to deal with gasoline and the finicky nature of generators.  One of his most important projects was the kitchen, her kitchen.  It hadn’t taken long for Jon to figure out that Sansa enjoyed cooking and baking.  He hadn’t cooked at the farm since she had shown up, preferring to take his meals with her at the house in town. 

Often Jon would find himself driving back to the farm in the middle of the night.  He hadn’t slept at the house in town since the first night, opting to do whatever it took to make her more comfortable.  It hadn’t escaped his notice that she had declined every invitation he had extended to go to the farm with him.  He understood her trepidation.  Even though they spent most of their time together, for all intents and purposes, he was a stranger to her. 

They had fallen into a routine.  Jon would wake early, doing the chores on the farm before collecting up some supplies and heading into town to see Sansa.  He would smell breakfast the moment he turned onto the street, bacon wafting a full block.  After they ate, Jon would start his work at the house while Sansa tended to her little garden and tidied up.  After lunch, they would explore for a few hours before returning to the house for supper.  Jon would wait until Sansa had taken her shower and settled in for the night, most evenings waiting until he was sure she was asleep before going back to the farm.

“Jon,” Sansa said.  He stopped chopping the fire wood and turned to look at her.  She held up a cup of coffee, steam rising in the cold air.  “You’ve been out here for hours.  You need to take a break.”

“We are running out of time,” Jon said.  “Winter will be here before long I reckon.  The snow is already coming down lightly.  It’s probably late October already.”

“It’s November 12th,” she said. 

Jon stopped what he was doing and looked at her.  “You keep track of the date?  How?  And why?”

The corners of Sansa’s lips turned up slightly.  “I started keeping track the day it happened.  I have a calendar and I just adjusted the dates for each year.  And why not?  Why do you continue to take meticulous care of your house even though you don’t live in it?  Why do you still have the same habits you always have?  If I were a betting woman, I’d put my money on you’ve always been like this.  The military was a good option for you because you are so methodical in everything you do.  Every project, chore, and I’d bet every word you say is planned out and executed with logic and finesse.”

Jon huffed.  “No.”

“Oh I think I’m right.  Not every word can be planned out but how often do you practice what you are going to say to me when you get here on your drive in the morning?  I bet you even imagine what my response is going to be.”

Jon dropped his eyes to the wood he was chopping.  He fought against smiling, she was right.  He did it every single morning without fail.  He even practiced his facial gestures so he didn’t look so broody and stern with her.  “I don’t plan out everything.  But yes, I suppose you are more correct than not.”

The sun was starting to set by the time Jon finished chopping enough wood to get her through the winter.  He had moved a large portion of it onto the enclosed porch so she wouldn’t need to go out in the cold to get wood for the fire and it would keep it dry.  When he came in the house, it was warm and something smelled amazing.  It made his mouth water.

Sansa was standing in the kitchen wearing an old pair of his Watch sweatpants he had used for physical training.  She wore a tank top and he had to divert his eyes when he realized that clearly she wasn’t wearing anything underneath it.  He washed his hands and sat down at the table to eat.

When dinner was done, Sansa began to clear the dishes to the sink while Jon wiped down the table and swept the floor.

“I stole your pants,” she said. 

Jon smiled.  “I noticed.  They are yours if you like them so much.”

“They’re big on me,” Sansa said.  “And probably the most unsexy thing in the World!”

Jon certainly didn’t agree.  He had spent the better part of the last hour trying to distract himself from looking at her, a funny feeling swirling in his belly.  Her beauty had caught his attention the moment he met her but he found that she was even more stunning when she was walking around in sweats with her long hair in a messy ponytail.  He enjoyed watching her around the house, doing tasks that most wouldn’t consider ladylike but he found charming. 

Jon could feel the urge to stay with her starting to build, the same way it did every evening when it came time for him to go home.  He pushed it away, going to the front room to get his backpack.

“So I’m going to go ahead and getting going.  The snow flurries are getting heavier and it can be a real pain in the ass to see in the dark,” he said. 

“Like I said,” Sansa responded.  “You are a perpetual creature of habit.”

“Because I don’t like to drive in the snow?  That is dangerous,” he said.

“True but you aren’t an adventurous man Jon Snow,” she teased.  “I bet your house is meticulously organized, right down to the canned goods in your cabinets.  Everything lined up perfectly and probably alphabetized.”

“There’s nothing wrong with being organized,” Jon shot back.  “Not all of us had the liberty of being able to be free souls without a care in the World.  Some of us had to live in the real World.”  He knew his tone was harsh but he could feel his temper rising.  Logically he knew she was teasing him but it irritated him nonetheless.  It reminded him of someone else who enjoyed taking the piss out of him.  Someone he’d give anything to still be taking shit off of.

Sansa’s face softened.  “I’m sorry.  I wasn’t trying to offend you.  I was just playing.  I guess it’s badly timed these days, there’s not much joy to be taken from frivolity.”

Jon sat his bag on the kitchen counter.  “That’s not true.  Technically, since there’s really nothing else in this World but us, we have all the time in the World to dedicate to frivolity.  That’s the word you used right?”  He grinned.  “As long as we make sure to maintain what we need to survive, everything else should be just finding our happiness.  We really don’t have all the stresses and requirements society puts on us now that we’re on our own.”

Sansa looked thoughtful.  “So what makes Jon Snow, broody hero of the second World happy?  You don’t seem to be these days.  You spend your time babysitting me and doing hard labor.”

Jon didn’t think.  He didn’t take a moment to analyze his actions.  He moved swiftly to her, taking her cheeks in his hands and kissed her.  It started out softly, giving her the chance to pull away and deny him if she so chose but got deeper as she responded to him in kind.  He felt her tongue brush across his lip as her hips pushed against him.  Her hands carded into his hair, holding him to her.  She opened her mouth, giving him the opportunity to taste her and he felt his chest tighten.  She tasted like apples and cinnamon from the pie they had eaten after supper.  His hand slid to her hip, holding her closer to him.  He felt the extra padding over the bone and squeezed it.  He liked knowing she had more weight on her than she had when they met, she was healthier.

It was the realization that she was healthier because of him that caused him to break the kiss.  Stepping back and taking a deep breath.  He wanted to take care of her, not use her for his own entertainment.  He felt sick to his stomach. 

“I’m sorry,” he stammered.  “I shouldn’t have done that.  I had no right to touch you.  I am so sorry.”

Sansa touched her lips.  “That was my first kiss.”

Jon rubbed his face.  “Shit…I’m sorry.  Your first kiss shouldn’t have been wasted on someone like me.”

Sansa laughed.  And not just a little laugh.  It was the loudest and most expressive he had ever heard her.  Jon wasn’t sure what it was about but he didn’t have much time to figure it out.  Sansa jumped at him, wrapping her arms around his neck and knocking both of them to the ground.  Before he could move, her lips were on his again and he was lost in her.

This kiss was hard, bordering on desperate.  Both of their mouths working against the other, tongues pushing past lips, their teeth nipping at each other.  Sansa straddled his hips, grinding against him, he returned the favor instinctually, groaning against her mouth at the pleasure and friction.  Jon knew she had to feel his hardness through their clothing because she seemed to center herself against it.  The heat of her body radiated through his pants and the image of sinking into her flittered through his mind.

“Sansa,” he said.  He pushed her back gently.  “Stop.  We have to stop.  This is getting out of hand.”

Sansa sat back, taking a moment to pull herself together before the blush made her cheeks burn almost red.  She rolled off of him and sat dumbfounded as Jon stood up, holding his hand out to help her up.  She took his hand, embarrassment moving from the top of her head to the tips of her toes.

“Um,” Sansa murmured.  “I don’t know what got into me.  Oh my God, I can’t believe I just did that.”

“I’m going to go now but I’ll be back in the morning okay?” Jon said.  “There’s enough firewood by the mantle to keep you warm tonight.”  He grabbed his bag and started walking towards the door.  He stopped as he put his hand on the knob and turned around.  “Sansa….”  He waited for her to turn towards him.  “Please don’t be embarrassed.  This was my fault.”

By the time he got back to the farm, the snow was coming down heavy.  He lit a fire in the living room and decided to bed down for the night on the couch.  He tried to distract himself with watching the television but his guilt was eating him alive.

_What the fuck was I thinking touching a 19-year-old girl?  I’m fucking 30.  She’s never even been kissed.  What the fuck Jon?_

His stomach lurched, threatening to bring up his dinner when he thought about what he had done.

_Sansa is innocent and I never should have let myself react to her like that.  She’s going to hate me for the rest of our lives.  What if she doesn’t want to be in my life anymore because of this?_

It was the thought of being alone in the World after having someone like Sansa that finally put him over the edge and had him retching into a bin until all of his stomach contents came up.  He had to get up and clean up the mess, tossing the sick outside and scrubbing out the trash can.  As he washed his hands, something out of the corner of his eye caught his attention.  A bottle of Jameson sitting on the counter.  Jon hadn’t taken more than a shot at a time since the day he woke up in the new World.  And those shots had primarily been for pain relief when he had injured himself working or his nerves were getting the best of him.  If he had any sense, he would leave that bottle sitting there but clearly his better judgement had gone out the window tonight.  He snatched the bottle, downing nearly half of it before slamming it back on the table and making his way back to the couch to pass out, as he knew he would.

His head was pounding when he woke up.  He had forgotten about falling asleep on the couch and fell to the floor when he rolled over. 

_Fuck.  I deserve this.  I knew what was going to happen._

He got to his feet and made for the bathroom.  His mind was still groggy, floating absently as he pissed until he realized what he was seeing out the bathroom window.  The snowfall from the previous night had obviously continued on through the dark and now there was nothing but white as far as he could see.  He went to the front door, yanking it open, only to find nothing but snow.  There had to be six feet of it.  It was as tall he was. 

_Oh fuck!  Sansa!_

He desperately began trying to shovel the cold, wet snow out of the way but it was of no use.  This storm had been worse than the one he had barely survived his first winter.  He was stuck in the house with no way to get to Sansa.  His heart was beating in his chest, his anxiety and fear rising to a level he had never experienced before.  He quickly took stock in his head, trying to remember how much food he had stocked her house with.  Would it be enough to get through this?  Is the firewood he cut for her going to be enough to keep her warm? 

_Oh fuck…what if she tries to come to me?_


	4. Games

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jon will always come for Sansa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to write this on my Ipad while hiding out with oreos and tea from the husband and kids. If there are typos, sorry. I'm not used to typing on such a tiny little keyboard.
> 
> I intentionally kept this chapter reasonably light because this is going to be a pretty serious storyline and I thought it was important to establish their relationship as normally as possible, regardless of the circumstances they are in. For most of us, our relationships include humor and playfulness. I wanted that for this version of Jon and Sansa. They are in a dire situation but ultimately, they are still human.

Jon spent days in a full blown panic. He knew Sansa had at least a week’s worth of food but it was now on day five of being snowed in. Another concern for him was how she was keeping warm. It hadn't occurred to him to tell her to close off the rest of the house and bunk down in the living room with the fire.

Being locked in the house had given him nothing but time to think and most of his thoughts were dark. When he did manage to doze off, his dreams were nothing but nightmares. He dreamt of getting to Sansa only to find that he was too late. On the sixth night, he woke in a drenching sweat, shaking and on the verge of tears. His dreams had shown him holding Ygritte as she died but instead of his previous love, it was Sansa he saw under the mop of red hair. He could no longer afford to wait out the storm.

Wrapping himself up warmly, he trudged through the several feet of remaining snow to his truck. His fingers ached as he fought in the darkness to get the snow chains on the tires and scrap the ice off the windshield. He sighed in relief when the truck started and he left it to warm up when he went back In the house to get jackets and blankets to keep Sansa warm. As he passed back through the kitchen, the cupboard caught his eye. She was right, every single can was lined up perfectly, labels facing forward and while they weren’t in alphabetical order, they were arranged by product and type. He set the armful of gear on the counter and quickly reorganized the items to make it look sloppy.

This is fucking stupid. She's totally going to know I did this on purpose.

Jon carefully guided the truck down the driveway, the wheels still slipping despite the snow chains. He figured if he stayed on the center of the paved road and drove slowly, he would make it. He had loaded the back of the truck with a few bags of rock salt though he wasn't sure it would do much good. The truck was sliding all over the road, his iron grip on the steering wheels proving futile. He moved at a snails pace but two hours later he pulled into the driveway of the house.

He practically flew out of the truck, running up the sidewalk in his desperation to get to Sansa. He could hear his heart beating in his ears as he opened the door. It was cold, really cold. The fire was down to embers, the light in the room so low that he couldn't see much. There was a pile of blankets on the couch but Sansa was nowhere in sight. He went down the hallway, looking in every room only to find them all empty. His heart sank with every steps. Coming back into the front room, he leaned against the couch.

“Where the fuck are you Sansa.” He thought out loud.

“Jon!”

He nearly came out of his skin when he heard his name yelled from behind him and arms wrap around his shoulders. Without thinking, he jumped away, yelling something unintelligible. When he whipped around, he came face-to-face with the blues eyes that danced through his dreams.

“Holy shit Sansa!” He yelled. He grabbed her face and kissed her over and over. “You scared the fuck out of me!”

“I didn't mean to, I was just so excited to see you!” She managed to get out in between Jon’s attack of kisses.

“Not that,” he said. “I thought you were going to be hurt by the time I was able to get here. I haven't been able to sleep in days.”

“You almost screamed like a little girl!” Sansa was giggling, her hand over her mouth.

Jon scowled at her. Sansa’s face dropped, her expression serious.

“I didn’t think you were going to come for me,” she said. “After things got weird with us.”

Jon wrapping his arms around her waist, lifting her over the back of the couch and pulling her against him. “I will always come for you…no matter what. I’m always going to come for you. Understand?”

Sansa nodded.

“Good,” he said. “We have to get out of here. The snow is coming down again and we will be stranded if we don’t get back to the farm.”

“Why can’t we just stay here?” Sansa asked.

“Because we won’t survive here. You’re already almost out of food and we still have to tend to the animals or we won’t have meat. We have to get to the farm.” Jon could sense her apprehension as she diverted her eyes around the room. Taking her chin in his hand, he turned her face back towards him. “Sansa…look at me.” He waited. “I’m not going to hurt you. If I had any bad intentions don’t you think I would have already carried them out? We have spent nearly all of our waking hours together for a couple of months now.”

“So we’re going to be sharing a bed?” she asked.

Jon’s eyes went wide. “Um no.” he said nervously. “The farm has several bedrooms. You will have your own space and I promise not to step on your toes too much.”

“What if I want to share a bed?”

“You won’t want to, I snore.” He started moving about the house, packing Sansa’s stuff into a duffel bag. He moved quickly, Sansa struggling to keep up. She had gone into the bathroom to collect her toiletries and when she turned around, Jon was standing in the door way, startling her.

“Before we leave, I want to talk to you for a moment,” Jon said. He didn’t give Sansa the opportunity to argue with him, waving his hand towards the front room. He followed behind her. “I want you to understand that I’m not staying distant because of you. I’m doing it because of me.”

“You don’t like me?” she asked slowly.

“The opposite,” he said. “I like you way too much. But you are so young sweetling. You are still a teenager. You do realize I’m 30 right?”

“Yes, I know that but I would also like to point out that in our situation, age is literally nothing but a number. There is no option for us to find lovers closer to our age.” Sansa’s words were direct and firm. There was no trepidation in her voice whatsoever.

Jon’s throat tightened when she said the word “lovers.”

“Do you not think you can love me? The last woman on Earth?” she questioned.

“Sansa….” He groaned.

“Tell me true Jon Snow,” she said. “Am I someone you think you can love at some point?”

“Yes,” he said. “And does that go both ways? I mean, do you think you can actually love me and not just feel like you got stuck with me because of all this bullshit?”

“You are a thick man Jon Snow,” she said. She walked past him, picking up her backpack and getting bundled up.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked.

“It means we need to go,” she said. “Let’s get moving. From the looks of it, we’re going to have all winter to figure this out.”

The ride back to the farm wasn’t any easier than the trip into town, it was probably worse because the snow was getting heavier as the minutes passed. Though Jon was considerably more relaxed now that he had Sansa sitting next to him. It was already well past dark when they got to the farm, the snow already building back up to cover the tracks Jon had left that morning.

Jon held onto Sansa tightly as they walked from the truck to the house. The ground was covered in ice and the stairs leading to the front door had become a death trap he knew all too well. He had slipped a few years earlier and broken two of his fingers trying to catch himself. At the time he was just grateful that was all he had done. A serious injury without medical help could be a disaster. It was that memory that reminded him of something he had spent a lot of their time apart thinking about. Once he got Sansa in the house and warmed up, they needed to have a serious conversation.

An hour later they were sipping hot tea and snacking on cookies. Sansa had managed to eat half the bag already. For a tiny little thing, she sure had an appetite.

“Sansa…we need to talk about something,” he said.

“Can’t we just let this develop organically? We don’t have to plan out an entire love affair you know,” she said grinning.

“Smartass,” he quipped. “No, not that. We need to discuss what to do if something happens to me. What you need to do to survive.”

Sansa stopped eating instantly. She looked at him with a look of fear in her eyes that made his heart sting. “That isn’t going to happen Jon. You can’t leave me alone again. I couldn’t stand it.”

“I wouldn’t by choice you know,” he said. “But we have to look at the facts. We are human. We die. One of us will die before the other and if I’m the first one out, I want to know that you’ll be okay. You need to learn how the farm works. How to grow the crops, take care of the animals….how to butcher them and store the meat. There’s enough canned goods to keep you going but you need fresh food. Especially since this stuff won’t stay good forever.”

“Please don’t make me think about this right now,” she said. “I already have enough on my plate.”

“What pressing issues do you have?” Jon raised an eyebrow.

“For one,” she smirked. “We have to do some stuff around here to make it a home. This is a storage space. It’s too perfect aligned and organized. Are you actually comfortable this way? If you are, we can leave it but don’t you miss having an actual home?”

“I am comfortable but if you’re not, we should change it. It won’t bother me one way or another.”

“Yes it will but I’ll leave your bedroom alone,” she said. “And if I go too far, just tell me.”

“Why are you so concerned with changing everything. You’re only going to be here until the winter storms pass.” Jon poured more boiling water into her cup.

“I know but it is more for you,” Sansa said. Her cheeks flushed with color.

Sansa’s blush wasn’t missed by Jon. “Um…do you want to stay on here at the farm? Because..you know…you are totally welcome to. I’ve invited you every day since you got here.”

“I wouldn’t want to invade your man cave,” she snickered. “It even smells like a man’s place.”

“That’s because it is….but I wouldn’t be adverse to it being a Jon and Sansa place. You don’t have to make your decision now but I want to make sure to put it on the table,” he said. “You are always welcome here. I actually like the idea of the house not being so empty.”

“Have you considered having kids Jon?” Sansa shot out without thinking.

Jon choked on his tea, coughing while he struggled to breathe, his eyes watering. When he could take in air, he sputtered, “No. Not really something that had crossed my mind. Up until a couple of months ago, I was the last man standing. I mean…I’m talented but not that talented.”

“What about before all his happened? Didn’t you dream of getting married and having kids…the white picket fence and all that?” She pressed on.

“Um…no…not really,” he said. “You have to remember, I was a soldier at the Wall. Having a wife and kids really wasn’t part of the deal. I only know a few of the guys that did have kids and they weren’t married. They were bastard kids. When you sign up to go to the Wall, that’s it and that’s all. That is your life until you get out. The Wall was going to be my career and my life until well past the age you would want to have kids.”

“So you’re a 30-year-old virgin boy?” She grinned.

Jon huffed. “No, Princess. I am not a virgin. I said we didn’t have kids, I never said we didn’t fuck.”

“Okay then,” Sansa said. “So….was it one person or….”

Jon cut her off. “Look, I did alright for myself. Can we leave this? I have an entire DVD collection we can raid. I might even be able to scrape up a bag of doritos if we’re lucky.”

“That’s fine,” she said airily. “I don’t care who you had in your past. I’ll be the last woman you fuck anyhow.”

 

“For fuck sake Sansa!” Jon barked. “Seriously, what the fuck? For the past two months you’ve been the Virgin Mary and now you’re Lolita? I have no intention of taking advantage of you. Don’t make assumptions.”

Sansa giggled. "Yes you do Jon. It's common sense. We are the last man and the last woman on Earth...or so we are lead to believe. We spend all of our time together and now we live together. You are a man. You have needs. I am not an asexual woman. Us ending up together is a forgone conclusion though I do find your chivalrous attitude to be lovely.”

Jon stood up. He needed a break to sort out his head and figure out what the hell was going on. “I’m going to go get snacks. I’ll meet you in the den.”

“Okay,” she chimed. “But I don’t wear panties when I watch television!”

“Sansa!” Jon yelled back down the hall.

Sansa went into the front room and began going through the DVD’s on the shelves. He wasn’t kidding when he said he had a collection. She wondered if this was every movie and tv show that had ever aired on television. Most of these shows she had never heard of but one caught her eye, the man on the cover was handsome and the synopsis was creepy.

“Hey Jon,” Sansa called out. “What is X-Files?”

Jon walked into the room with an arm full of food. He gave her a funny look and sat the contents of his arms down on the coffee table. "If you aren't old enough to know what X-Files is, you aren’t old enough for me to even consider fucking you.”

Both of them burst out into laughter, settling down to watch the show. Jon intentionally sat on the other end of the couch but by the third episode, Sansa had wormed her way practically into his lap. He wrapped his arms around her and covered her with another blanket.

“So I guess the town house is going to be our summer home?” Sansa asked.

“Watch the show Lolita,” Jon said.

“Who is Lolita?” she asked innocently.

“Watch the show….”


	5. Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jon and Sansa celebrate Christmas. They discuss theories of what happened. Things get all squishy and lovey in a weird, end of the world kind of way.

According to Sansa’s calculations, it was nearly Christmas. The snow had kept them to the farm but luckily, not trapped within the house itself. There were days Jon was outside tending to the animals or maintaining the storage units from the time the sun came up until it fell below the horizon. Those were the days that seemed to last forever. 

“There’s a huge storm coming in,” Jon said as he came through the door. He shook the snow off his boots, leaving them by the door as he wandered into the kitchen, following the smell that was making his stomach grumble. “I locked the animals down and reinforced the doors on the barns so hopefully it won’t be a hot mess afterwards.” Jon went to the sink to wash his hands.

“Do you think it’s going to be really bad?” Sansa asked. 

“The sky is almost black,” Jon responded. “The wind is starting to pick up. I can’t imagine it isn’t going to be bad. But we’ll be fine. We have plenty of food in the house and I stocked the back porch just in case.”

“How long are we going to be tied down?”

“Don’t know but probably a couple of weeks from the looks of it,” Jon said. 

“That sucks,” Sansa said. “That means we’ll be stuck inside for Christmas.”

“Christmas?” Jon raised an eyebrow towards her.

“Yeah. Christmas. You know, winter holiday with presents and good food. Decorations….cookies…that type of thing.”

“I know what Christmas is smartass,” Jon said. “I just hadn’t thought of celebrating it. You expecting Sansa Clause?”

“Obviously not. But I would like to celebrate it. I haven’t since this happened and since we have a home and all that, I think it would be nice. It’s a lot better than where I was last year and the year before.”

“And where was that?” Jon asked. She hadn’t really spoken much about how she had lived since everyone disappeared and he was curious to know.

“Last Christmas I was in a department store, freezing my ass off in a sleeping bag on the hard floor,” she said.

“Why didn’t you just find a house to stay in? A fire to be warm?” he asked.

“I’m not sure why I didn’t just find a spot like you did,” she said. “I just always felt like I was supposed to be moving. And I always found it creepy to sleep in strange homes. I stayed in my own house for over a year after it happened.”

“What made you leave home?”

“I don’t know,” she said. “I just packed a bag one day and left.

“Sounds like you.” Jon smiled. “What do you want to do tonight? We can move on to the second season of X-Files. That’s when they started getting deeper into the abduction of Mulder’s sister.”

“I want to put up the tree and lights,” she said. “I have the boxes in the big closet in the hall.”

“Is that what you’ve been hiding away?” Jon asked.

“I have to keep some secrets,” Sansa said. “I’ll start some cookies while you put together the tree.

“Right,” Jon said. “Your wish is my command.”

A few hours later they were lying on the couch together enjoying the Christmas tree and decorations. Jon had teased her about the insane amount of lights she was putting up but secretly, he enjoyed watching her flitter around, hanging the lights every place she could find a spot. 

“I think it’s about that time,” Jon said before yawning. He stood up, offering Sansa his hand to help her up. He held her hand as they walked up the stairs, kissing her forehead before turning towards his room. Lying in bed, he stared at the ceiling waiting for sleep to overcome him, listening the storm outside get louder, the wind blowing hard and creating a loud whistling noise. He was half asleep when he was startled awake by something poking his arm.

“Jon….Jon….” Sansa whispered. “Wake up. Jon…”

“I’m awake, quit poking me with that bony finger of yours. You’re bruising me,” Jon said. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s fucking cold,” she said.

“It’s December.” He focused his eyes on her. “Where’s your pants?”

“I sleep in a tshirt,” she said.

“Did it occur to you that maybe that’s why you’re freezing your ass off?”  
“Don’t be cheeky,” she retorted.

“I’m not the one being cheeky.” He looked her up and down to make his point. “I’ll get you some more blankets.” 

“Can I sleep with you?” she asked quickly.

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” he said.

“I’ll behave myself, girl scout promise.” She raised her fingers and grinned.

“That’s not the problem. Your feet are always cold as fuck.” He pulled back the covers and moved over to give her space. “You better keep your icy toes to yourself.”

Sansa climbed into his bed. He tossed the blankets back over them. “I’m serious. Keep those ice clubs away from me.” He snickered but caught his breath when she shoved herself against him. Jon moved his arms, trying to find a comfortable way to sleep with her tucked underneath him and finally gave up and put his arm over her. He had to grit his teeth when she pressed her backside into his groin and tried to think about the most unsexy things he could imagine.

“My ass isn’t freezing,” Sansa teased. 

“Go to sleep Lolita,” he said.

Sansa smiled in the darkness, listening to him grumble something about her being the death of him.

When Jon woke, he had to untangle himself from Sansa, trying to avoid waking her up. When he sat up and threw his legs out of the covers, he shivered.

“Fuck me it’s cold,” Jon said without thinking.

“Then you should crawl back under the blankets with me,” Sansa said. “We could keep each other warm.” 

Jon smiled. “Daylight is burning darling.”

“So? Do we have anything particularly pressing to attend to? Are you going to be late to work? Miss a doctor appointment?” Sansa teased. 

“No but I’m afraid if I crawl back into that bed with you,” Jon said. “I may never want to get out.”

Jon stood up. “I’m going to go make some coffee. Care to join me?”  
“Yep!” Sansa said. 

“Hop on,” Jon tapped the back of his shoulder. Sansa jumped from the bed onto his back. “Damn! You’re heavy for such a skinny little thing!”

Sansa laughed. “Shut up!”

They sat in the kitchen sipping their coffee. Jon stood next to Sansa who was sitting on the countertop.

“It’s Christmas Eve,” Sansa said. 

“Is it?” Jon asked. 

“Yep,” she said. “I’m going to get the turkey in the oven soon and start the side dishes.”

“You have a turkey?” Jon asked. “Where’d you get a turkey?”

“The yard.” Sansa sat her cup down.

“As in one of the pet turkeys?” Jon’s eyes were wide.

“I didn’t realize they were pets. I thought they were food,” Sansa said.

“I suppose they can be,” Jon mumbled. “Though I feel guilty now. I lied to them when I told them they didn’t have to worry about being on the dinner table.”

Sansa laughed. “You made promises to birds?”

“Well….This is going to sound strange but up until you showed up, I was alone. Sometimes I would have conversations with the animals.”

Jon moved closer to Sansa, allowing her to wrap her legs around his waist and pull him into her. “So without me you become the turkey whisperer. I won’t kill any more of your confidants. You’ll need someone to chat up if something happens to me.”

Jon’s face got serious. “Don’t say that.”

“I’m not saying right now,” Sansa said. “But we never know. Anything could happen. Plus, I would be irritating with my constant chatting. I imagine the turkeys are a lot less opinionated than me.”

“I like your opinions,” Jon said quietly.

“Want to help me get this bird ready for the oven?” Sansa said to change the subject. “It’s going to take most of the day to cook.”

“You got it Captain,” Jon said. He looked at the turkey in the sink, impressed that Sansa had managed to not only kill it, but also prepare it. “I hope this isn’t Bob. He had a wife and three kids.”

“You are such an ass!” Sansa said before laughing loudly.

After they got the turkey in the oven, Sansa had banished him from the kitchen. He had managed to sneak in a few times, nicking a nibble of this and a handful of that when she wasn’t looking but otherwise, he had been barred from her space. By the afternoon, he was starving and threatening to go on strike. It felt like an eternity until she called him for dinner, the smells in the house making his mouth water.

After dinner, Jon built a fire and they settled down to watch a Christmas movie. Sansa had picked out one that was released not long before everyone disappeared.

“Do you ever think it’s strange when we watch these DVD’s knowing that all of these people are dead now?” Sansa asked.

“I haven’t really thought about it to be honest,” Jon said. “I mean, I guess I haven’t really looked at it as everyone being dead. I don’t think that’s what happened.”

“Really? What do you think happened?” she asked.

“Obviously I don’t know but did you ever hear the story of the Rapture? You know, from the Bible?”

“Um no, my parents weren’t the religious type. We just got the ‘don’t be an asshole’ story.” Sansa sat up and turned to face him. “What is the Rapture?”

“The Bible claimed there would be a time when Jesus would return to Earth and those that believed in him would disappear to go join him in the Heavens. They made some movies about it and a few books. I wasn’t particularly religious either so I don’t remember all the details but the gist of it was that humans would just disappear from the Earth if they were Christians. Though I don’t know if I buy into that,” Jon said. “I doubt we’re the only two people on Earth that weren’t religious. And there’s no way God would have left someone like you behind.”

“I think it sounds like bullshit,” Sansa said. “If it were true, you wouldn’t be here either.”

“Sansa…” Jon paused for a moment. “I’m not a good person. I don’t talk about this much but I was in the military. I have killed people. I’ve killed more people than I could count. Not only did I do it, I did it knowing that it wasn’t right. I was never under the impression that I was anything other than a government paid murderer.”

“Oh Jon,” Sansa said. “Do you honestly believe you are still here because you are a bad person? That you deserved this?”

“It’s what makes sense to me,” he replied. “But it doesn’t account for you. Unless you have some teenage psycho killer past you haven’t mentioned.”

Sansa laughed. “No, I wasn’t a psycho killer. Just your standard shithead teenager. But the fact that I’m still here disproves your theory. Outside of slaughtering a few spiders, I’ve never taken life. And if God were trying to punish you, he wouldn’t have sent me your way. Or maybe he would have….” She made a funny face that made something thump in Jon’s chest.

“You are by no means a punishment,” Jon said. “You are a blessing. One that makes me grateful for what has happened because who knows if we would have ever come across each other in our other life. I’d like to think this is God’s way of offering me some type of redemption.”

“Is that why you keep me at arms’ length? You know…physically? You don’t want to sin?”

Jon smirked. “No. It has nothing to do with sinning. Believe it or not, for all the fucked up things I am or have been, I have always loved and appreciated women. I know this isn’t the most masculine thing to say but I have never been much for casual encounters, if you will.”

“We aren’t casual though,” Sansa said. “There’s something else.”

“Um yeah….there is.” Jon ran his hands through his hair nervously. “I keep hoping that if this is the Rapture, God is going to realize he made a mistake and come back for you. And if something were to happen to me, I don’t want you to pine for me like I know I would you. It’s bad enough to be alone, with a broken heart, it would be unbearable.”

“It’s too late for that,” Sansa said quietly.

“How’s that?”

Sansa’s cheeks went pink. “You don’t have to have sex to fall in love with somebody. I’m no expert on these things but it seems the way it should work is you fall in love with the person and then you express that love physically. I’ve loved you since before I met you.”

“What?” Jon’s eyes were wide in confusion.

“Remember when I told you I had gone through your house in town?” she asked. He nodded. “I looked through your pictures. I walked around your house. I imagined what you were like. Um…I read your journals. Your words were so kind. The way you wrote about Ygritte was so wrenching. I cried for you. I wished there were more men in the World like you. That I would find a man like you. I fell in love with the man who wrote those words.”

Jon didn’t know what to say. He hadn’t even thought of the journals at the house since he had met Sansa. They were nothing more than documentation of a life that no longer was. One that he had desperately wanted out of at the time he had written in those journals. He was so lost in thought he didn’t realize he had been staring off for an uncomfortable amount of time.

“Jon? Are you okay? Did I say something wrong?” she asked. “I shouldn’t have told you that. I am such a dumbass.”

His attention was brought back to her. “You aren’t a dumbass.”

“I’m going to go to bed now,” Sansa said. “I don’t want to cause any more trauma tonight.”

She stood up, Jon looked up at her but he was still deep in his thoughts. “Good night Sansa.”

She just smiled meekly and went up the stairs. Her chest felt heavy, she turned to look at Jon again, he was still sitting on the couch, his eyes off in the distance. Turning back around, she fought back tears as she went to her room. She fell asleep fitfully.

She woke up a couple of hours later when she felt a dip in her mattress. She didn’t even open her eyes, she just pulled the covers up to give Jon space to crawl into bed with her. He wrapped his arms around her shoulder and pulled her into him, resting his chin on her head.

“You’re so warm,” he mused.

She touched his cheek, her fingers playing with his beard. “You aren’t. Sleep Jon. I know you’re exhausted.”

“I want you to know,” Jon whispered. “If I had been able to look through your life before I met you, I would have fallen in love with you too.”

“I love you Jon. I know you don’t want to hear it but it is what it is,” Sansa said. “Sleep now. Let your mind rest.”

She felt him kiss the top of her head. “I love you Sansa.”

“I know.” She tucked herself closer to him and dozed back off.


	6. Honesty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ta da! And shit gets real.

Jon woke up to Sansa tapping his arm repeatedly.  He groggily looked at her, barely able to make out her form in the dark.

“What?” he uttered with a sleepy voice.

“I have to tell you something,” Sansa said.  “Something really important.”

“Again…what?”

The cold air hit his bare chest, waking him fully with his eyes wide.  Sansa had gotten out of the bed and moved to the other side of the room.

“Sansa?”  He sat up, concerned about her strange behavior.  “What’s going on?”

“We aren’t the last two people on Earth,” she said quickly. 

Jon jumped out of the bed.  “What?  What do you mean we’re not the last two people?  I haven’t seen anyone in fucking years!”

“I have,” Sansa said.  “But please listen to me.  You have to hear me out.”

“Why haven’t you said anything before now?  It’s been fucking months Sansa!  You knew?  This whole time?”  He was yelling, every one of his words making Sansa flinch.

“Jon, please!  You have to listen to me!” she said.  “Please.  Calm down.”

“I’m not going to calm down!  Have you lost your fucking mind?” he demanded.

“You’re scaring me,” she said almost in a whisper.

Jon could feel his heart beating hard in his chest.  He was angry.  His breaths coming in short, quick bursts that he knew she could hear.  He couldn’t even wrap his mind around what she was saying.  He didn’t understand what she was telling him.

“Sansa, you have to explain.  I’m lost,” he said.  His tone had changed and he had lowered his voice.  “What do you mean we aren’t the only two?”

“I didn’t leave my home to find people,” she said.  “I left to get away from certain people.”

Jon moved towards her but stopped when she shirked away from him.  “I’m not going to hurt you.  I just need to know what you’re talking about.”

“There are groups of survivors,” she said.  “There’s not a lot but there are some.  I haven’t seen any people since I got to the Midwest but the other side of the Country still has people.”

“That’s amazing!  I can’t believe it!  We should try to find them!”  Jon said excitedly.

“NO!” Sansa yelled.  “We can’t Jon.  Please.  We can’t!  They are bad people.  They are so bad!”

Jon could see the fear in her eyes.  He hadn’t seen that look of terror on her face since the day he found her in his house.  “Sansa….”  He walked to her, taking her hands in his before she could move away again.  “What happened to you with these people?  What did they do to you?”

“I don’t want to get into it,” she said.  “But I won’t go back there.  I won’t Jon.”

“What if they know what has happened?  Aren’t you at least curious?” he asked.

“No, I’m not.  And they don’t know what happened.  They turned into animals when everyone else disappeared.  They hurt each other.  They rape!  They murder!  They beat people!”

Jon didn’t miss her eyes looking down as she said the words.

“You were hurt,” he said softly.

Sansa nodded slightly.  “I can’t go back.  Please don’t leave me here!”  Her voice was desperate, pleading.

Jon pulled her into his arms.  “I won’t.  I wouldn’t.  It’s just you and me okay?” He felt Sansa sob against his chest.  “You and me.”

She clung to him so tightly it made his chest ache.  He squeezed her against him, wishing he could reassure her that she was safe.  He dipped down, scooping her up into his arms and carrying her to the bed.  He laid her down gently before sliding into the sheets next to her.  Before he could pull the blankets over them, she was straddling his hips, her lips crashing down on his.  The kiss was passionate.  It was aggressive.  It was the result of both of their emotions exploding at the same moment.  He couldn’t think, he couldn’t react, he could only seek more of her, reaching for something that seemed right outside of his grasp. 

“Sansa,” he murmured against her lips.  “I want this.  I want you.  We need to stop now if we’re going to.”  He sat up, holding her hips firmly in his hands and pulling her into him.

Sansa whined, a deep high pitched sound coming from her throat, vibrating against his lips as he dragged them down her neck.  She pulled back from him, her eyes never leaving his as she pulled her shirt over her head.

He flipped them over, his lips moving over her collarbone before he brushed her nipple with his tongue and then sucked on it lightly.  She writhed against him, the heat of her against his groin almost unbearable.  He moved down, kissing her ribs, her waist, her hips before finally resting his cheek on her mound and looking up at her.

“It feels weird to ask for permission but uh…if you want to stop me, now is the time to do it.  Once I have the taste of you on my lips….”

“I’m not going to stop you.  I’m never going to stop you.  Ever.”  She gasped when he moved her panties down just enough to kiss the tender skin where her leg and center met.  He carefully pushed them down far enough to be able to slide them off her ankles, leaving her bare to him.

He sat back on his calves, looking her up and down.  Taking in all the little details of her body he could see in the moonlight.  He pulled his shirt over his head before standing for a moment to leave his sweatpants and boxer shorts on the floor.  When he sat back on the bed, he traced his fingertips over her legs, from her foot to her hips.  He followed ever dip and curve, her skin silky and soft under his touch.  He settled himself between her legs, kissing the inside of her thighs and enjoying the look of expectation and confusion on Sansa’s face.  She bucked against his mouth when he flicked his tongue out to taste her.

He held her hips down to the mattress.  “Relax sweetheart.  Clear your mind.”  She nodded and closed her eyes.  He took his time kissing and licking before using his fingers to give better access to her nub.  He wasn’t surprised when she began shaking quickly, her peak obviously catching her off-guard but he was surprised that he nearly came just by feeling her and tasting her as she did.

_Fuck.  It’s been a long time.  I’ve missed this._

His groin ached.  He needed release more than anything he had ever wanted in his entire life.  He moved between her legs, taking himself in hand and carefully tracing her slit, allowing her wetness to coat him liberally.  He placed the head of his cock at her entrance.

“Are you ready?  You can still back out.  I won’t do it if you don’t want me to,” he said.  He felt like a liar pretending he was chivalrous enough to just walk away.  He wouldn’t go any farther with her but he would have to excuse himself to take care of it by hand.

“I love you Jon,” Sansa sighed. 

“I love you,” he said.  He carefully pushed into her, the wet tightness threatening to undo him before he even managed to take her maidenhead.  She winced, her body tensing up and he knew he had just taken her virginity.  Once he was fully inside of her, he waited for her to signal her readiness, his restraint being tested to the point of sweat beads forming on his forehead.

“I’m not going to last San,” he said.  “It’s been too long and you feel too good.”

“I don’t care.  Come Jon,” she said.  “I already have.  I want this for you.”

Jon took a few strokes, trying to distract himself to avoid exploding like a virginal teenage boy.

“You deserve this and more.  You are such a good man Jon.  You never ask anything of me.  You take care of me.  You protect me.  I love you so much,” she cooed in his ear.

Her words were too much for him and he moaned loudly as he came, forgetting himself and allowing his seed to spill inside of her.  In the back of his mind, he already regretted it but in that moment, it was everything closing in on him, the center being Sansa underneath him.

He could barely move for a few moments afterwards, tucking his face into her neck until he was able to roll off of her and tuck her into his side.

“I’m sorry,” he said.  “It’s been a long time.  I couldn’t hold off.  I should have come inside of you.  Fuck that could be bad.”

“I’m not sorry,” Sansa said.  “It was amazing.  And you aren’t the only one who peaked too quick.”

Jon laughed.

“We’re going to talk more about the other people in the morning,” he said.  “You don’t have to tell me exactly what happened to you but I need to know something.  If there are others, it changes the things.  I have to make sure I can keep you safe.”

“I am safe,” she said.  “I’m always safe with you.”

Jon kissed the top of her head.  “Sleep my little Christmas Angel.”


	7. Issues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jon and Sansa come to an understanding.
> 
> They both learn more about each other and their lives before everyone disappeared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is dialogue heavy but I figured this is the most logical way of addressing Sansa's fuck up and the reaction Jon would have to it. Plus, it gives a little background on both of them. I will expand on Sansa's history in later chapters.

Jon was in the kitchen, coffee in hand when Sansa ambled down the stairs.  He poured another cup, setting it on the counter.  When Sansa came into the kitchen, he pointed towards the cup. 

“Are you sore?” Jon asked.

Sansa didn’t respond but the blush on her cheeks gave him the answer.

“It will pass,” he said.  “It’s not like that every time.”

Sansa smiled, her lips against the coffee cup.  “It’s that why you’re so stiff with me this morning?  You were worried that you hurt me?”

“Yes and no,” he said.  He sat his cup on the counter and fidgeted with it for a moment while he sorted out what he was going to say to her.  “I was worried that I hurt you last night but right now, I have a much bigger concern.  You lied to me.”

Sansa’s stomach dropped.  “I didn’t exactly lie.  I just didn’t volunteer the information.”

“Wrong.  You lied.  Even if that was true, it is still lying by omission.  But you have said repeatedly that we’re the last man and woman on Earth.  Remember?  When you were making your case for us being together?  You knew we weren’t the last people.  I know you’re scared but this seems like a manipulation.”

“Okay.  I’ll take that one on the chin.”  Sansa hopped up on the counter.  “So if you had known there were other people, would it have changed anything between you and I?”

Jon looked thoughtful for a moment.  “No.  It wouldn’t have.”

“So, why does it truly matter?”

“I don’t like being lied to,” he said.  “I have killed people because of lies Sansa.  Fucking killed people. Do you understand how heavy that is?”

Sansa felt the air seize in her chest.  “What do you mean you have killed people over lies?”

“Do you honestly think there’s a right side in war?  Just because we have our reasons for going to war, it doesn’t mean the other side is wrong for theirs,” he said.  “I killed people beyond the wall.  Of course we were told they were dangerous and a threat to the people of Westeros but I suspect the only thing they were guilty of was being born on the wrong side of the wall.”

“What makes you think that?” she asked.

“Because one of my comrades, the one you read about in those journals was born on the other side of the wall.”

“Ygritte?”

Jon didn’t say anything, he just looked at her. 

“Why was she fighting on our side if she was a Wildling?”

“Because of me,” he said. 

“Are you going to elaborate?”

“Do you want me to?” He asked.  Sansa nodded.  “I spent some time on the other side of the wall, far up north.  I was sent to infiltrate their camp, collect information, and send it back to the Watch.  Ygritte vouched for me.”

“Okay, but that still doesn’t explain how she came to fight in Westeros and…”

Jon cut her off.  “I took something that wasn’t mine.  I knew better than to get involved with her but I was barely more than a boy at the time.  I’d never even seen a woman naked.  She was wild and funny.  Nothing seemed to scare her.  She would rip the piss out of me one minute and be fucking me the next.  I was completely enamored with her and from what I could tell, it was the same for her.”

“So she decided to leave with you?”

“Yes,” Jon said.  “She left with me because she knew she would be held responsible for my betrayal.  They would assume she knew what my plans were and allowed it.  A crime against her own people.  At least that is what she told me.  I was so far gone at that point I would have believed anything she said.”

“She lied?”  Sansa was beginning to understand why Jon was so serious about what she had done.

“We both did,” Jon said.  “To each other.  And we did it well.  I’m not sure why I was stupid enough to think she wouldn’t do the same thing to me as I had done to her but I believed her.  I brought her home with me.  We lived together for over a year before she died.  I thought I knew her.”

Sansa was stunned.  “Jon….her death wasn’t your fault.  You didn’t kill her.”

“No, I didn’t.  But I certainly set the series of events that led to her death in motion.  I never should have allowed her to get under my skin.  I never should have loved her.  I certainly shouldn’t have let her love me.  If I had been a good man, I would have left in the middle of the night like I had planned.  Instead I confessed everything to her.  Long story short, she let me believe she was coming with me because she would be in danger if she stayed.  I knew somewhere in the back of my mind it was a lie but I wanted it to be true.  I wanted our relationship to be real.”  Jon chuckled darkly.  “We even got a little house right off base.  She was home when I got there every night.  Dinner made.  She washed and folded my underwear.  It was like we were a real couple just living our lives.  And then I had to go on a mission and made the mistake of trying to lie to her again about where I was going.  At the time, I was just

trying to avoid her worrying.  I didn’t realize that she had gone through my work emails and some paperwork I had in the office and found out where I was going and what I was doing.  She gave the information over to Mance, her boss, and left to join their forces as soon as I left.  The next time I saw her, our eyes met on the battlefield and I watched as a mist of blood exploded from her body as the bullet went through her.  She was killed by the men under my command.”

“I don’t know what to say,” Sansa whispered.

“Say you won’t lie to me again.  I’ll give you the same respect,” Jon said.  His tone was almost harsh.  “I can’t….I won’t go through this again.  If we are going to be together, we are going to be honest with each other.”

“Why did you…you know….after you knew I had lied to you?” Sansa asked.

Jon took a deep breath, looking off at something in the distance before looking back at her.  “Because against my better judgement, I love you.”

“What do you mean against your better judgement?” she demanded.

Jon huffed.  “Seriously?  You drive me fucking nuts.  Half the time you’re the sweetest girl in the world, the other half of the time you are mouthy, opinionated, and argumentative.  I honestly had no intention of getting romantically involved with you when I found you in my house.  None at all.”

Sansa slammed her coffee cup down on the counter.  “So you regret it?  You could have mentioned that last night.  You know, before you fucked me.”  She stormed out of the kitchen, and practically ran up the stairs.

“Sansa!” Jon called out from behind her.  “Sansa!  Come back here!  Goddamn it.”

Jon had just cleared the stairs when Sansa turned.  In a split second, he had her wrists in his hands, pressing her against the wall in the hallway.  “I don’t regret falling in love with you.”

“But I’m a liar, remember?” she said.

“Yeah, well, so am I.”  Jon let go of her hands, resting his palms on her hips. 

“What?”

“I lied, Sansa.  I fucking lied.  I’ve wanted you since right after I found you.  I went home that night imagining holding you, kissing you….waking up next to you.  It wasn’t long after that I was thinking about fucking you.  I just pretended I was above all that,” he said.  “I didn’t want to scare you away.  But I wanted you more than anything or anyone I’ve ever wanted in my life.”

“You never lied asshole,” Sansa said.  “You don’t get to justify what I did by throwing yourself on the sword.”

“I did.  More to myself than you but I did.  I pretended that I was only looking out for you but I was protecting myself.  You seeped into every fiber of my being and I couldn’t do anything to stop it.  I didn’t want to be emotionally invested in another person after Ygritte.  I was done.  I didn’t think there was enough left of my heart to give to another person but I swear to you, it’s yours.  But we can’t lie to each other.  We have to be honest, even if it hurts.  Even if it feels like the worst thing in the World.  Fuck the others.  It’s you and me, Sansa.  We have to trust each other.”

Jon took her face in his hands, kissing her hard.  He growled against her lips.  “You and me.”  He pulled her down to the floor, his lips kissing and sucking down her neck and across her chest.  Reaching up under her tshirt, he pulled at her panties until they ripped and he pulled them the rest of the way off.  He desperately pulled at his sweatpants, pulling them just far enough down to free his cock before sinking into her.

Sansa gasped loudly.  “Jon!”

Jon paused.  “Did I hurt you?”

She nodded.  “I’m just sore.  Go slow.”

He slowly thrust, bringing himself almost out of her before pushing back inside.  The heat of her pulled at him, his body wanting to overtake his mind and slam into her as hard as he could.  His blood was still high from their fight but he could feel it ebbing as he moved back and forth.  Their eyes were locked on one another, bodies moving in sync until they both peaked together.  It wasn’t one of the toe curling orgasms but equally intense.  Sansa held him tightly, her cunt pulsing around him as he came, her name on his lips.  He collapsed against her, moving down until his head rested on her stomach where he remained as she stroked her fingers through his curls.

“How many people were in the group you were with before you came here?” Jon asked.

“I don’t know,” Sansa said.  “Probably a couple hundred.  I wasn’t allowed to be around them much.”

“What do you mean you weren’t allowed to be around them?”  Jon looked up at her face.

“Um…when Cersei found me, she took me in.  I was too young to know I was in a lot of trouble.  I wasn’t allowed to leave the grounds.  Usually I had someone with me if I wanted to go outside,” she said.

“Why?”

“Cersei intended to marry me to her son Joffrey,” she said. 

Jon sat up.  “Weren’t you too young?”

“They didn’t think so.  They were waiting for my first menstruation.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?  They were going to turn you into a breeding mare?” he could feel his anger bubbling back up to the surface. 

“That was their intention though I don’t think it would have worked,” Sansa said.  “Most of the women young enough to bare children were being used as such but no child was ever born.”

“Were they taking birth control or something….worse?”

“No,” Sansa said.  “I can’t say for sure but from what I heard from Cersei and some of the others’ conversations, the women just weren’t falling pregnant.”

“Is that way you left?” he asked.

“Yes.  I left and ended up here, with you.  This is where I want to stay.”

“You and me Sansa.  I mean that,” he said.  “Though I am curious about the women not getting pregnant.  That’s strange.  I guess that’s a good thing for us.  We haven’t exactly been cautious.”

“They’re searching for me Jon,” she said.  “I know it.  There’s no way they’re going to let me go without a fight.  I can’t go back.  I won’t Jon.  No matter what.”

“You won’t be,” he reassured her.  “I have no problem with killing people for the right reason.”


	8. Heroes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little backstory on how Sansa ended up finding Jon. The reason she ran and who ended up being her knight in shining armor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long to update stories. I've been working my ass off both at work and on my graduate degree. Add in kids and the husband, life has been crazy.

“Please,” Sansa pleaded.  “Just let me go.  I’ll leave and never come back.  I promise!”

Cersei sat in the chair behind the desk, her eyes cold as she watched Sansa’s tears fall down her face.  It had been three days since Sansa had woken to find her bedding stained red, the moment the Lannisters had been waiting impatiently for.  The forced engagement between Joffrey and Sansa had now become an impending marriage, the wedding now scheduled to take place within days.

“Little bird,” Cersei said.  The softness of her voice did nothing to hide the venom of her words.  “You belong to Joffrey.  The sooner you accept that, the easier your life will be.”

“I will never accept this,” Sansa said.  “You are forcing me to marry him against my will!”

“You will,” Cersei said.  “And as the years pass, you will learn to love him.”

“Joffrey doesn’t love me any more than I love him.  You are sentencing both of us to misery!” 

“No,” Cersei agreed.  “He doesn’t love you.  He most likely never will.  I love my son but the fact is, he is never going to be a romantic.  But he doesn’t have to be.  All he has to do is fuck you until we get a few little Lannisters off of you.”

Sansa went back to her room, her chest seized tight enough to physically ache.  Her thoughts wandered to her family. 

_Where is Robb?  Does he know what happened to me?  Does he care?_

Two days later, it was the eve of her wedding.  She lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, contemplating the one way she knew how to get out of marrying the mean little Lannister bastard when there was the lightest of knocks on her door.  She took a deep breath, not wanting to face anybody for any reason but begrudgingly got up to open the door.  As she opened the door, Tyrion Lannister slipped into her bedroom, quickly shutting the door behind him.

“Sansa,” he whispered.  “Pack whatever you can manage in one bag.  Hurry up.  Don’t ask questions.”

She stood there for a moment.  “Am I to move to Joffrey’s room tonight?”  She could feel the dread digging into her gut.

Tyrion, Joffrey’s Uncle, looked up at her, a sad look in his eyes.  “No sweet girl, I am getting you out of here before it’s too late.  Do you know where your brother is?”

“No,” she said.  “I haven’t seen him since they brought me here.  Why are you helping me?”

“Get your clothes,” Tyrion said.  “Our window of opportunity is small.  We can’t afford to waste time.”

Sansa started shoving clothing in her backpack.  “Is this a trick?”

“Sansa.”  Tyrion walked towards her, her coat in his hands.  Standing in front of her, he handed her the jacket.  “Put this one.  We need to go.  I’ll explain more later.”

Fear welled up in her throat as they climbed down the tree next to her bedroom together.  She could have laughed when Tyrion reached his hand out to catch her if she were to fall.  As gallant as the man was in his soul, his physical body wasn’t much more than four feet tall and Sansa was pretty sure she outweighed him by at least eighty pounds.  She smiled kindly at him, moving around to catch him if need be.

When they reached the ground, Tyrion glanced around as Sansa adjusted her backpack over both of her shoulders.  He took her hand and they ran.  They ran for what felt like hours, Sansa’s legs burning as they disappeared through the woods, avoiding roads.  By the time they stopped, they were in pitch darkness, Tyrion barely visible a few feet in front of her.

“We can only stop for a little bit,” he said.  “We need to be as far away by daybreak as possible.”

Sansa tossed her bag to the ground, plopping herself onto the grass next to the large log Tyrion had settled on.

“What are we going to do?” she asked.  “Where are we going?”

“We can’t stay together,” Tyrion said.  “A pretty redhead and a dwarf are going to stand out, regardless of how sparse the population is now.  The only way to get you to safety is for you to travel alone.”

“What?” Sansa demanded.  “I can’t be on my own!  I’m only a kid!  Why did you take me away if you were just going to leave me?  I can’t take care of myself!”

Tyrion leaned over, his fingers brushing her cheek.  “Calm down kiddo.  If I didn’t think you’d be better off doing this, I wouldn’t have done this.  The other option is too horrible to consider.”

“I could have just dropped a few babes for them and that would have been the end of their use for me,” Sansa said. 

“Sansa,” Tyrion whispered.  “My nephew is a sick fuck.  I don’t think even my sister knows the depth of his depravity.  There was no way I was going to allow him to do to you what he has done to other girls.”

“What has he done?”

“Do you remember that girl Ros?” Tyrion questioned.  “The redhead whore?”

“Vaguely.”

“She was one of his conquests,” he said.  “And when she was no longer of interest to him, he took her out to the woods, pretending they were on some romantic stroll and used her as target practice.  A few of the kids from our camp found her a few weeks later.  I also suspect he was the one responsible for the disappearance of those other two girls not long after all of this happened.  I owe it to your family to get you to safety.  To give you at least a chance to have a life.  One that is your own.”

“Am I on my own now?” she asked.  Her eyes were full of fear and dread.

“No yet,” he said.  “But soon.”

Soon turned out to be two weeks later.  Sansa woke in yet another strange house to find that she was alone, Tyrion having gone at some point during the night.   On the kitchen table, he had left a note.

_Sansa,_

_There are good people left in this World.  I know this because you are still here._

_Don’t be afraid. Keep going until you find home.  And never go back.  Ever._

_Tyrion_

 

For the next couple of years, Sansa made sure she was always moving in the opposite direction of where she came.  She never stayed in one place more than a few weeks, making sure she put miles in between her and the last place she stayed.  She had two scares, one she narrowly escaped from.

“She was here,” Joffrey sneered.  “There’s no dust.  The bedding is clean.  The food isn’t rotted.”

“It could be anyone,” the Hound said.  “We can’t know it was Sansa.”

Joffrey fixed his eyes on Sandor.  “I know it was Sansa.  I can smell her.”

“Why are we chasing this little girl anyway?  There’s dozens of girls back home that would love to be yours,” Sandor said.  “This seems like a hunt.”

“It is a hunt, dog.  And I don’t want Sansa as my girl.  She’s going to suffer for humiliating me in front of everyone,” Joffrey said.  “I’m going to get babe after babe on her until she is nothing more than a breeding cow.  I’ll fuck her in the ass until she weeps.”

“I don’t think one results in the other,” Sandor said. 

“I know that you fucking mutt,” he sneered.  Joffrey stormed out of the house they were searching, getting in the jeep to sit and seeth.

Standing in the living room of the house, Sandor grinned.  “Little bird….go South.  I will lead him North.”  He said the words out loud, as if he were speaking to himself but he wasn’t.  Sansa knew he had seen her in the rafters when they first walked into the house.  Sandor had intentionally kept Joffrey’s attention away from her hiding spot, giving her the chance to hide deeper and stay out of sight.  “You will be warm in the South.  And safe.”

Sansa felt like she had been holding her breath forever when Sandor finally left, driving down the road with a sour faced Joffrey in the passenger seat.   

In the weeks that followed, Sansa didn’t stop moving unless she was sleeping.  For months she trekked South, not knowing where she was going or what she was going to do until she found a house that reminded her of home.

The first thing that stood out to Sansa about the house was how clean it was.  Everything was organized pristinely, right down to the books in the shelf being alphabetical by title and the sheets on the bed having hospital corners.  There were few pictures on the walls but in the closet of the master bedroom, she found boxes of them.  There were files full of paperwork for a Commander Jon Snow, the man she assumed was the one in most of the pictures with the black curly hair and dark eyes.  On the surface, he appeared stern and emotionless but something about him gave her a feeling of warmth.  She had been in the house for nearly a week when she found journals he had kept, meticulous records of his life and the people around him.  She spent hours reading and rereading every word, feeling like she knew this man that in reality was nothing more than a name and a photograph to her.

One morning she was in the basement looking for blankets when she heard the distinct sound of the front door opening and closing.  Her heart began to pound in her chest, her skin covered in gooseflesh as she frantically scanned the area for a place to hide.  Sliding behind the stairwell, she tucked herself as far down as she could manage and closed her eyes.  She heard footsteps on the stairs and it took all of her self-control to keep her breathing steady and silent.  She grimaced when her foot slipped, moving slightly on the dirt covering the cement floor and making a tiny sound.  She could see the man looking in her direction as he fumbled for the lantern light that was hanging right above him.  When he turned on the light, her body betrayed her and startled.  The man seemed to have the same reaction because he yelled out, falling backwards to the ground.

“Holy shit!” he yelled.  Sansa felt the urge to jump up and run.  “I’m sorry!  Sorry!”  The man raised his hands, she assumed it was to show her he wasn’t armed but she wasn’t sure.  “I haven’t seen anyone in years!”

Sansa was face-to-face with the man she had come to know as Jon Snow, the dark haired man from the photographs.  He was flesh and blood in front of her.  “Are you real?” she asked.

“Yes, I’m real.  My name is Jon.  Can I help you up?”  She waited a moment before taking his hand and standing.  “What is your name?” he asked.

“Sansa.”  Her voice was barely above a whisper.  “Sansa Stark.”


	9. Times are Changing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jon and Sansa survive the winter and with the flowers comes some new surprises.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this update has been a long time coming, as are all the updates for the stories I have going. I have not touched my stories this summer and this chapter is something of an experimental toe in the water kind of thing. Just to get my mind back into it.
> 
> I feel bad not keeping up with the stories but I have had a brutal summer. In early July, I lost my only sibling. My brother who I loved more than life itself died and the grief has taken everything in me to get through. I have written a couple of little one shots but they have been too morbid and heart wrenching to post so I just haven't. I'm not sure how to describe how I feel at the moment other than to say that my soul has been shattered and I'm not sure when I'm going to be able to find normalcy again. I will try to update the stories as often as possible but I can't say with any certainty when I will be able to put my heart back into my life at the moment.

“Have you lost your mind?” Sansa demanded.  She had walked into what appeared to be preparations for a battle when she had brought Jon’s coffee to him while he worked in one of the storage barns.  Unlike the other units, this barn didn’t hold food supplies or household goods….this one was stocked full of guns and if she wasn’t mistaken, explosives.  “Jon….”

Jon looked up from the plans he had drawn up of the property to see her standing in the doorway, two cups in her hands and a look of fear in her eyes.

“Thank you.”  He took one of the mugs from her, kissing her quickly on the cheek.  “Come here for a minute, I want you to take a look at this.”

Sansa moved to his side.

“This is the house right here.”  He placed his finger at the center of the massive paper.  “You can see the barns and the fields over here….”

“Jon,” Sansa interrupted.  “What are you doing?  Have you been out here all night?  You’re going to freeze to death!”

Jon hadn’t taken his eyes off the plans.  “I’m fine.  I kept wood burning in the stove all night.  Barely felt a chill.  Now, if you notice, I have a few new things on here.  I’m building a safe room for you…”

“Jon!  Stop!  We don’t need a safe room!”

“Yes, you do.”  He turned to face her.  “The rules have changed.  We need to be prepared for whatever may come.  I won’t risk you not being able to get to safety should someone show up here when I’m not with you.”

“You’re always with me,” she said. 

Jon sighed.  “Except when I’m not.  Please…..just listen to me.”

Sansa nodded her head slowly.  She knew there was no use in refusing, Jon was like a dog after a bone when it came to her care and safety.  Beyond that, he was still a military man at heart.  Any perceived threat would be dealt with swiftly and thoroughly. 

“Now you said they found you once right?  But the dickbag’s sidekick let you go?”

“Yes.  He told me to go South and never go back to the Lannister camp,” Sansa said.  “I wouldn’t call Sandor a sidekick, more of a bodyguard really.”

Jon raised an eyebrow.  “Why am I not surprised a guy that would put his hands on women would require a bodyguard to protect his own little sniveling arse?”

Sansa giggled before she could stop herself. 

“Joffrey isn’t exactly known for her bravery,” she said.  “The only time he is violent is against women.  There were a few times he got into scuffles with the boys but Cersei always swooped in to save him but usually not before he made an ass of himself with all of his blowing and going.  I honestly don’t think he poses much of a threat to me, especially if I’m with you.”

“Then why has he chased you across the Country?”  Jon asked.

Sansa thought about it for a moment.  “Because he doesn’t like when others take his toys.  He considers me his property.  I was supposed to be married to him.  I imagine if he finds me, they will still expect me to wed him and have his babies.”

“Can I ask what the big thing is about knocking you up?  You said there hadn’t been a pregnancy since all of this happened yet these fucktards are under the impression you can get pregnant?”

“I’m kissed by fire,” she said simply.

“What the fuck does that mean?”

“I never said there were no pregnancies.  I said women generally weren’t falling pregnant.  There was a whore named Ros who also had red hair…..” she paused.  “She was pregnant when she died.”

“What did she die of?” Jon asked.

“Joffrey killed her,” Sansa said.  “He took her into the woods and when they found her, she was full of arrows.  She was already going into her third trimester when it happened.”

“He’s a fucking monster,” Jon gritted out.  “But I fail to understand why her hair color would have made any difference.”

“Me either,” Sansa said.  “I just know she wasn’t the first and Cersei believed I was the key to her having grandchildren.”

“Why didn’t she just keep the whore’s kids?”

“Because she was a whore,” Sansa said.  “Neither Cersei or her Father would have allowed Joffrey to have kids with a woman like her.  I think Cersei gave her blessing for Joffrey to do what he did.”

Jon looked back down at his plans, his lips pursed.  “I need to work quickly.  Go back in the house.  You’re going to get sick out here.” 

“That’s an old wives’ tale,” she said.  She stopped when Jon glared at her.  “Fine.  I’m going.”

An hour later, Jon came stomping into the house.  His face was red from the cold, his boots and pants soaked to the thigh from walking through the snow.

“Oh for goodness sake Jon,” Sansa chided.  “Why didn’t you just use the walkway that was already cleared?  You look like a popsicle!”

Jon was stripping off his wet clothing, careful to leave them on the mat by the door.  “I was mapping out the area I’m going to be building.  I wanted to see how long it would take to get from one place to the shelter.”

“It’s too cold right now to be doing that,” Sansa said.  “You’re going to catch your death.”

Jon smirked.  “That’s an old wives’ tale, remember?”

“Go take a hot shower,” she said.  “Breakfast will be done soon.  Here, take your tea.”  She raised the cup in his direction. 

“Yes Master!”  He gulped the bitter and scalding liquid down quickly before running up the stairs.

By the time he came back down, his food was on the table and Sansa was washing the pans.  He sat down, craning his neck to watch her as he ate.  Her hair was still wet from her shower and he could see the bottom of her butt cheeks peeking out from underneath the men’s dress shirt she had obviously nicked from his closet.  Taking his plate to the sink, he rested his hand on her hip, his front pressed to her back.

“You’re beautiful,” he said. 

“You trying to get lucky?” She teased.

“I already am,” he said.  “Let’s leave these dishes and go veg out on the couch with some box sets and a fire.  The day is already cold and miserable and useless.”

“After the dishes,” she said.  “Otherwise, I’ll just be thinking of them the whole time.”

“Very well Princess,” he said.  He turned her around to face him, giving her a peck on the nose.  “I’ll go get the blankets and pillows.”

They spent the majority of the day watching episode after episode of X-Files, eating more junk food than could possibly be good for them, and making love in between short naps. 

The days gradually got longer until the first signs of Spring poked out of their buds and the farm became a sea of color, flowers of every possible variety blanketing as far as the eye could see.  Sansa loved this time of year, it reminded her that life still existed and continued to be reborn, regardless of everything that had happened.  Her days were spent in the garden, planting and weeding in the hopes they would have an abundant harvest to be preserved in their root cellar and mason jars for the winter.  The cold months had been harsh but as the sun warmed her face, she thought about how different this winter had been in comparison to the others she had known after everyone else disappeared.  For the first time in years, she hadn’t been afraid.  She hadn’t gone to sleep shaking from the cold, afraid to light a fire for fear of being found.  She didn’t have to scour empty homes and stores for enough food to hold her over until her next resting place.  Sansa was no longer surviving, she was living.  Looking towards the livestock barn, she watched him hauling a bale of hay, filthy from head-to-toe with glistening skin from the sheen of sweat that coated him.  Lost in thought, she was startled when she realized he had dropped the hay and was watching her nearly as intently as she had him.  Sansa still found herself blushing when he fixed her with that look, the intensity of his eyes as it swept over her always made her heart skip.  She grinned shyly, looking down at her bare toes in the dirt before going back to her work.

She yelped when two hands gripped either side of her hips, pulling her back until she was pressed against his chest, his lips against her ear.

“I take it you like what you see?” he murmured in her ear.

“Always,” she said.  He turned her around, taking her face in his hands before brushing his lips over hers.  She flicked her tongue out, his lips were salty and so soft when she pressed her mouth fully against his.  “You’re a dirty boy.”

Jon smiled.  “No sweetheart….I’m a filthy man.”

“You know I didn’t meant it that way!” She playfully slapped his bare chest.  “You’re going to mess up my dress.”

“That would be a terrible crime,” he teased.  “One that should be dealt with swiftly and harshly.”

“And you know it would be,” she responded.  “Let’s go shower.”

Jon began kissing her, his hands moving all over her body until he swept her legs out from underneath her, holding onto her carefully until he lowered her to the ground and crawled over her. 

“Jon!  This dirt is wet!” she yelled.

“I should hope so,” he whispered against her lips.  “Crops don’t grow well in droughts.”

She pushed at his chest.  “No, it’s wet as in I’m going to be covered in soil!”

“Good,” he said.  “We’ve done it in the shower.  The kitchen.  Every bedroom.  On the couch.  Even on the porch that night is was colder than a polar bear’s ass……this will be a first.”

“Oh, you can’t be serious!”

Jon pressed his pelvis against her thigh and smirked.  His hand teased from her knee and up her leg, pushing the fabric of her dress up.  He groaned.

“You’re not wearing panties?”

Sansa laughed, her head pressing back and exposing her throat to him.  He took the offer, kissing and nibbling from the base to just below her ear. 

“You’re even dirtier than me,” he murmured.  “What if the wind blew your skirt up?”

Sansa gave him a look.  “Who would see it anyway?  The chickens?”

“Maybe.  The new mature rooster looks sketchy as fuck.  He might be dinner one night soon,” Jon joked.  “I take my woman’s modesty seriously.”

“Your woman?”

“Aye,” he said.  “My woman.”

The smell of his skin pervaded around her.  It was a scent that was distinctly Jon.  Masculine and musky without being offensive.  Sometimes, she would feel herself get aroused by nothing more than him walking by her after coming in from working outside.  Those were the nights  she would kiss and lick his entire body, tasting every part of him until he whimpered like a green boy, sometimes resorting to begging for release.

Without warning, Sansa shoved him, flipping them over until she was able to straddle his thighs, moving quickly to unfasten his jeans and yank them down his legs, his cock standing out against the patch of black hair that began lightly at his belly button and continued down.  Her hand wrapped around him, stroking firmly.  The muscles in his stomach twitched and flexed, his eyes wild and focused on her face rather than what her hand was doing.  He cried out when she sank down on him, her butt resting on his hips as she adjusted to the intrusion.  As she began to roll her pelvis, he watched her intently.  Pushing her dress up and over her head, he let it fall behind her as he pressed his hand to her chest, between her breasts.  The wind blew her hair, allowing the sun to streak through her locks and from his viewpoint, she looked like a Goddess.  His mind wandered, imagining what she would be the Goddess of. 

_Fire.  She would be the Goddess of Fire.  She sets me on fire._

Jon sat up, his hands bracing her neck as he kissed her, their lips and tongues moving together in sync with their bodies.  A desperate whine came from her throat and he could feel her starting to contract around him. 

“My beautiful Goddess,” he whispered.  “Come on.  You’re almost there.  Let go baby girl.”  He pressed his thumb against her clit, strumming back and forth until her back arched and she dug her nails into shoulders.  He couldn’t see her face but he could feel her lips against the curve of his neck, a sharp pain surging through him and straight to his cock when she bit the tender flesh.  His reaction was instant, he clung to her desperately when he came, holding her tightly against him as he pulsed inside of her. 

They fell back into the dirt, Jon pulling her against him.  Her leg wrapped around his hip and they basked in the warm sunlight until the dusk settled and the air grew uncomfortably cool.  He helped her with her dress, laughing as she complained about being covered in dirt and demanding to know how she was supposed to get all of it out of her hair.  She jumped on his back and they headed back towards the house.  He set her down on the porch, stepping back as she shook dirt from her tresses.

“Hello?” they heard from the distance.

Jon’s head turned, his stomach lurching when he saw a man standing at the end of their driveway.  Instinctually, he pushed Sansa behind him.

“Get in the house,” he growled.  “Go to the basement and lock it until I come for you.”

“Jon,” she started.

“Now!” he yelled.  He pushed her through the front door, grabbing the rifle he kept behind it and walking back out to the porch.  He aimed the gun at the intruder, his scope lining his head up in the crosshairs.  His finger touched the trigger, waiting to squeeze until the man got close enough to ensure the shot wouldn’t be missed.

The man in his view looked about his age, maybe even a little younger.  His reddish hair was long and wavy, and looked a little unkempt.  The bag on his back was as worn down as the man himself.  Jon could see him speaking, his lips were moving but he couldn’t hear anything beyond Sansa begging him to come inside the house.  His finger felt sweaty against the trigger and when the man began running towards the house, Jon squeezed.  At the same moment, his shoulder was pushed from behind, the shot ringing out.

“It’s Robb!” Sansa screamed.  “It’s Robb!”

Jon couldn’t put together what was going on but it was clear the man had taken the bullet, he fell to the ground, holding himself on his hands and knees.  Sansa came around him, running down the stairs and towards the man.  Jon panicked.  As he chased after her, his heart was beating in his chest, the sound of his blood rushing through his ears.  He called after her desperately but she wasn’t listening to him.

As she approached the man on the ground, she fell to her knees, pulling him into her.  Jon was right behind her.

“Sansa!” he yelled.  “What are you doing?”

“Jon!  This is Robb!  He’s my brother!” She managed to get out through her sobs.

“Jesus fuck,” Jon said. 

Robb groaned in agony, holding his hand against his hip where blood seeped around it.  Jon couldn’t see the bullet hole clearly but he knew it wasn’t fatal, a small relief in the storm surrounding him at the moment. 

“Sansa….I’m sorry….I didn’t know,” Jon stammered out.  “I’m so sorry.”

“Help me!” she wailed.

“Yes!  Let me get him, we’ll take him back to the house,” he said quickly.  Robb looked him in the eyes when he lifted him, the pain from the movement clearly shooting agony through his body.  “It’s alright man.  I haven’t killed you.  We can fix this.”  He turned to Sansa.  “He’s not going to die.  I didn’t shoot him anywhere lethal.”

“But you did fucking shoot him Jon!” She said angrily.

Jon couldn’t speak.  His words were stuck in his throat.  His chest ached.  He knew he had done something horrific.  Something unforgivable and unlike his time in the Watch, this wasn’t something he could compartmentalize and hide from.  He had nearly killed his woman’s brother.  Her only family.  Obviously, his monsters were no longer at rest.


	10. Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The fall out from the shooting.
> 
> Jon has to deal with a very angry woman.
> 
> Sansa pulls the rug out from underneath Jon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a real ass. I've had most of this chapter written for months but totally forgot I had written it. Somehow, I managed to not touch my laptop for six months. I've got other stories in the process of updating and even a few new things I've been tapping on.

Robb was sleeping peacefully in one of the spare bedrooms.  The bullet had gone straight through, missing his organs but leaving a hole.  The bleeding had been insane, coating the kitchen floor and leaving a trail from where he had been shot to the bathroom.  Sansa had been amazing.  Even through her hysteria, she managed to take control and get the bleeding to stop before taking care of the wound and stitching it up. 

Jon was downstairs, mopping the blood off the kitchen floor and cleaning the counters to erase the evidence of what had happened while Sansa sat at Robb’s bedside.  Every time he thought he had gotten all of it, another splatter or mark would show up.  It had taken well into the night to get it done.  Sansa still hadn’t spoken to him outside of barking orders as they worked together to help Robb.  He had taken her food and coffee but she just took the platter without saying a word and return to the chair next to the bed.

He waited for her in their bed but she didn’t come.  When he went to look for her, she wasn’t in Robb’s room.  He assumed she must have gone to the kitchen for something to eat but when he cleared the stairs, he found her sleep on the couch, an episode of X-Files on in the background.  Turning off the television, he sat on the loveseat and watched her.  Her eyes were still red from crying, her cheeks tear stained and her lips puffy but at least she was finally resting. 

The guilt was shredding him.  He wasn’t sure if he truly regretted shooting Robb because if he was being honest with himself, if he had to slaughter a million people to protect Sansa, he would.  And how was he to know the first person they would see after Sansa had revealed the existence of others would be her brother?  All the logical arguments he came up with in his head didn’t negate the fact that Sansa was in pain and he was the source.  She trusted him.  She only knew Jon as he was once she had come into his life.  She had no knowledge of who he was before they met.  The soldier.  The murderer.  The liar.

Was it really fair to call himself a liar?  Yes, he had lied in the course of doing his job as a soldier but that was required.  In his personal life, he hadn’t been a liar.  He stopped himself.  Yes, he had been a liar.  His lies, was what ultimately killed Ygritte.  He could justify it by forcing himself to believe that she had gotten herself into the situation but he knew he was a contributing factor, without a doubt. 

Jon stood, carefully sliding his arms under Sansa and lifting her.  He carried her up the stairs and laid her in their bed.  He knew she was exhausted because she barely moved as he carried her and got her in bed.  Before lying down next to her, he went across the hall to Robb’s room and checked that he was still okay.  He refilled his water glass and made sure he had a couple of the Vicodin next to it should he need it at some point throughout the night. 

When Jon woke in the morning, Sansa was gone….again.  He made the bed and listened to her speaking to Robb across the hall.  For siblings who had just found each other after years, it seemed odd to him that their conversation was nothing more than the usual monotonous things people say to each other every day.  He was no expert on interpersonal communication, at least good communication as it were, but it seemed peculiar that neither of them were asking for details or broaching the obvious subjects.  His stomach ached from nerves but he knew he had to face both Sansa and her brother.

“Hey,” he said.  He stood in the doorway, fidgeting with his fingers.  “How are you feeling man?”

“Like I’ve been shot,” Robb said. 

Jon’s stomach seized even more.  “I’m sorry. I really really am.”

“Jon,” Robb said.  “It’s fine.  I’m fine.  Shit happens.  It’s no worries.  I was making a joke…and apparently a really bad one.”

“This isn’t funny,” Sansa said.  “You could have been killed!”

“True but I wasn’t.”  Robb sat up slightly.  “Look, things like this happen now.  We don’t have the luxury of expecting the best out of people.  We have to assume nobody has good intentions towards us.  Jon had never seen me before in his life.  He reacted quickly and…he did it to protect you.”

“That doesn’t matter Robb,” Sansa said.  “He shouldn’t have shot you.”

“You’re wrong,” Robb argued.  “He should have shot me.  And frankly, he should work on his aim because he should have killed me.”

“Stop fucking around.”  Sansa’s anger was getting the best of her.  She was practically stammering.  “This could have been a tragedy.”

“It could have but it wasn’t.  And Sansa…I’m telling you….Jon did the right thing.  These people…the majority of the people left behind are not good people.  They are doing horrible things to one another and with no accountability, they are doing worse things than they would have ever thought they were capable of.  I’m not thrilled to be shot but I’m glad to know my sister is being protected by someone who has no qualms about using lethal power to do so.  That’s our World now San.”

Sansa huffed.  “I’m going to make breakfast.”  She stood and paused as she passed Jon.  “And if you could avoid shooting him again, that’d be great.”

As Sansa left the room, Robb’s laughter startled Jon.  “Dude!  You are so fucked!  Thank God you had enough sense to not roll your eyes at her.”

“Yeah,” Jon said.  “I know better than to do that.  I end up couch surfing my own couch….”

Robb chuckled.  “Ouch.  I wouldn’t want to be on the business end of Sansa.  She’s a sweet little thing but she’s just as fierce as our Mother.”

“I wouldn’t know,” Jon said.  “She doesn’t speak much about your family.  I think it’s a way for her to avoid hurting.”

Robb sat up, resting his back against the headboard.  “Makes sense.  We aren’t much for hashing back over things that can’t be changed.  I could have cried when I found out she had gotten away from that fuckwit Joffrey.”

The name struck Jon in his chest with a surge of anger.  “Why did you leave her to that fate?  If you knew he was a piece of shit, why would you let him have your sister?”

“Right to the point, eh?”

Jon’s lips pursed, his eyes defying him in his effort to not appear furious.  “I don’t believe in playing games.  I never have.”

“Fair enough,” Robb said.  “I didn’t have a choice.  My wife Jeyne was pregnant.  Tywin Lannister made it clear that I had to leave or my wife wouldn’t live to see our young born.”

“So, this is the redhead thing right?” Jon asked.

“No, this is a Stark thing.”

Jon couldn’t put the pieces together.  “Sansa said they valued her because she was a redhead and it was only redheads that could get pregnant.”

“My wife had brown hair,” Robb said.  “The redhead thing is nothing but stupid shit humans come up with to try to explain what is going on around them.  The Lannister’s are clever little fucks but they lack common sense.  Our brother Rickon was born after everything happened.  He was the first pregnancy and birth in the camp.  The dumbasses attributed it to my Mother’s hair and it only picked up steam when it became obvious Jeyne was pregnant.”

“And your wife and child?”

“Jeyne didn’t survive the birth,” Robb said.  “Our son died a few days later because I had no way to feed him.”

“Jesus….”  Jon rubbed his eyes.  “I’m sorry man.  I shouldn’t have asked.”

“It is what it is,” Robb said. 

“But what about the girl Joffrey killed?  The redheaded whore?  Sansa said she was pregnant,” Jon questioned.

“Joffrey killed a woman?”

“Yeah,” Jon said.  “And when Sansa left, he hunted her like she was fucking prey.  That’s how she ended up here.”

“Well,” Robb said.  “I don’t know about the girl he killed.  Maybe there is something to the redhead thing but it just sounds like solid bullshit to me.”

They sat in silence for a few moments, listening to Sansa bang around the in the kitchen downstairs.  Jon could tell by the noise she was still angry and he dreaded breakfast.  He was pretty sure it was going to be a spit omelet.

“Just so we’re all on the same page here,” Robb spoke up.  “You and Sansa….roommates?”

“Not roommates,” Jon said.  “We are….well….we just are.”

“Did Joffrey rape her?”  Robb’s stomach lurched.  He had held it in but he had to know what he had left his sister to. 

“No,” Jon said. 

“Are you sure?”

“This conversation has the ability to get really uncomfortable,” Jon said.  He smiled and looked down at his hands.  “Let’s just leave it at….we’re not roommates and I know without being told that Joffrey didn’t violate your sister’s body.”

Breakfast was just as quiet as Jon had expected it to be.  Robb took another pain pill, nodding off before the dishes were even done.  Sansa had gone back to the bedroom, leaving Jon sitting on the porch, trying to figure out how he was going to face Sansa and sort out the mess he had made.

The screen door opened and Sansa sat on the porch swing, next to him but not as close as she normally would.

“I feel like I’m dying,” Jon said.  “Each minute that passes, it gets worse.”

“Jon, he’s going to heal.  You didn’t kill my brother.  I’m just a little mad right now,” she said. 

He looked at her, his eyes sad and longing.  “You’re going to leave with him.”

“What?” Sansa asked. 

“You have your brother back,” Jon said.  “I wouldn’t blame you if you want to go back to your family.  But fuck….my heart is breaking.  I won’t pretend this isn’t taking everything in me.”

“I’m not going anywhere Jon,” she said.  “This is our home.  This is our life.”  She paus  ed for a moment and took his hand, placing it on her abdomen.  “And this…is our family.”

A cold sweat broke out over his body, his hands shook, and he had to fight back the urge to vomit.  His face was ghost white, his throat closing and preventing him from being able to speak.

“I know this isn’t great news but Jon,” Sansa spoke quickly.  “This is something that is….amazing.  Please don’t be angry.  Please?”  The desperation in her voice made it sound almost like she was begging. 

Jon was lost in thought.  He was vaguely aware of Sansa speaking but he wasn’t sure what she was saying.  He didn’t comprehend the words but rather the tone in her voice, the fear.  At least he wasn’t alone in what was pulsating through his body.  He cleared his throat, looking up at her for something….the way she was always his backbone when he didn’t have his own.  The determination she always carried within her.  The fearlessness she had when she faced problems that would cripple the strongest man alive.  What he saw was a girl.  A scared girl.  His girl.

“I hope it’s a girl,” he said finally.

“What?”  Her tone had gone from a squeak to shock.

He felt like he could breathe again.  “I said….I hope it’s a girl.”

“Are you going to elaborate on this?” she asked.

He patted his thighs, pointing to his lap in invitation.  “Come here.”  She gave him a look.  “Do I have to pick you up?”

Sansa sighed, standing up and sitting on his lap.  His hands went under her thighs, pulling her legs up as he rocked back and forth on the swing.  He held her tightly against him, his lips resting on the top of her head.

“I never really thought about having kids,” Jon said.  “Didn’t see it as part of my life.  And I didn’t even consider it after everything that has happened.  Did you want kids?”

“When I was a little girl, I always thought I’d grow up, get married and have a bunch of kids,” Sansa said.  “But after Joffrey, I didn’t want any.  Just the thought of a human inside me made me sick.”

“I shouldn’t have been so careless,” he said.  “This is going to be a lot to put you through…and….we don’t really have any other option.”

Sansa tilted her head up, looking him in the eye.  “No, we don’t have options but….this is okay.  I have you inside me.  Not Joffrey.  We are going to be a family.  A Dad and a Mom…and an Uncle….”

“San…I don’t think Robb is going to be as excited about this as you think,” he said.  “Did Robb tell you what happened to Jeyne?”

“Yes.”

“And?” Jon prodded.

“And nothing.  I’m not Jeyne,” she said.  “I’m not going to spend the next six months waiting to die.”

Jon raised an eyebrow.  “So, you’ve known you were pregnant for a while?”

“Yeah…I have.  I just didn’t know how to tell you and then you shot Robb and I was so mad…and I….fuck it…it is what it is.  And it was going to be obvious soon anyway.”

Jon snickered.  “I’m glad it’s a baby.  I thought you were porking up.”

Sansa slapped his arm.  “Asshole.”

“This…you know.”  He held her tighter to him.  The fear hadn’t subsided, if anything it had intensified as he thought of all the possibilities but for at least this moment, everything was going to be okay.  “I still want it to be a girl.  The last thing this World needs is another asshole like me.”

“You’re wrong,” Sansa said.  “This World would be a much better place if there were more assholes like you in it.”


	11. Coming back together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jon deals with fear and anxiety over the news of Sansa's pregnancy.
> 
> Sansa has to face her own fears.
> 
> Jon takes care of Sansa the only way that makes sense to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did a quick update because I already wrote the outline and figured I'd steal a few to write this up.

Jon sat on the porch, carving an intricate design into the wood in his hands.  His attention focused on each little nick and scrape until the image of a tree with extensive branches appeared.  Across the yard, Robb was busy harvesting the end of summer vegetables for Sansa to store in the root cellar or can for the winter.  Sansa remained in the house most of the time on Jon and Robb’s orders.  Neither were willing to risk her being seen in her condition now that she was going into her third trimester and the pregnancy was obvious.  Nobody else had been seen since Robb’s arrival but Jon lived every day with the fear that it was only a matter of time.

When he had found Sansa in his old house, he thought that was the hilt of his anxiety.  The need to take care of her and protect her being his driving force but now, the impending birth of their child made that seem like the good old days.  In the few months since Sansa had told him about the baby, he had beaten himself up daily for doing something as stupid as getting her pregnant at a time like this.  What would happen to his family if he died?  What if they die?  His medical knowledge was limited to immediate first aid in warzones.  He didn’t even know how to handle an infant. 

They had made a supply run a couple of months beforehand, the need for baby items taking them off their usual path.    As they walked through the abandoned shops, it almost felt as if they were a normal young couple excitedly picking out everything they would need for the start of their family.  Sansa ran from aisle to aisle, pulling outfits and blankets, showing him and asking if he liked it.  As far as he was concerned, if it was going to keep his kid warm and fed, he liked it.  Though he grinned ear-to-ear regardless.  His Sansa was happy so he was happy.

It was in the quiet moments, like the time he spent on the porch hand carving the pieces of wood that would ultimately become their little one’s crib that his doubts and fears crept up on him.  Their relationship had changed drastically since Robb had been with them.  Initially, Jon had thought Robb would be moving on.  He had made it clear as far as Jon could tell that his stop at the ranch was temporary, but Sansa had managed to beg him to stay longer until Jon had asked him to stay permanently.  Beyond making his girl happy, he found that he really liked the guy.  And as an added bonus, it wasn’t a bad idea to have another guy to back him up when it came to Sansa and her hormonal mood swings.

The newfound friendship wasn’t all beer and movie nights.  Robb was a source of consolation for Jon and helped to lighten his worries when it came to Sansa.  During a tipsy night of stupid guy movies, the conversation had turned serious and Jon had made Robb promise him to take care of Sansa and the babe should anything happen to him.  Their friendship was cemented that night and they had been working in tandem since to make upgrades around the farm in addition to preparing for the winter and Sansa’s due date, which they still had no idea when it would be.

From all the information he had been able to collect from books, he knew the pregnancy would be around 40 weeks, putting the arrival in the fall.  Jon had also learned how to measure Sansa’s belly to make a rough estimation of how far along she was but he didn’t trust it.  Instead, he had begun to rely on watching her like a hawk as she progressed through the weeks, applying the developments to the timeline presented in all the pregnancy books he had devoured.  He was still trying to figure out how he was going to bring up the subject of checking to see if she was dilating…he wasn’t anticipating that going well.   

Jon heard her before he saw her.  Her usual elegant gait had given way to something that looked like a penguin, her belly entering a room 10 minutes before she did.  He looked up from his woodwork to see her paddling across the porch, finding her usual spot on the swing.

Jon put his blade down.  “How are you feeling today?”

“Pregnant.” She answered flatly.  “The baby has his foot lodged in my ribs and apparently thinks it’s a soccer field.”

“She’s just spreading out,” Jon said.  “You would too if you spent months rolled up in a ball.”  He smiled. 

Sansa always referred to the baby as a boy but Jon insisted on referring to it as a girl.  He hoped his optimism would pay off in a few months but he figured as the one carrying the child, Sansa was probably right.  He would take either, healthy baby and Mom were the only true thing he prayed for at night. 

“You look tired,” Jon said.  She always looked tired and it bothered him immensely.  He didn’t like the idea of the babe taking more than Sansa could give.  “Did you rest?”

“No, I don’t sleep well when you’re not there.  I’ve gotten used to your weird sleep mumbling.” 

That wasn’t exactly true.  Since they had found each other, they hadn’t been apart. When she slept, it was always pressed into his side and if they wandered away from one another in the night, she would always reach out to make sure he was still there.  There had been a night in the spring when she had woken up and found his side of the bed cold.  She searched the house, the fear pumping her heartbeat in her ears until he walked through the front door.  She had been so sure he had decided to leave after she told him of the pregnancy that when he came back in from checking the flapping porch door, she vomited all over the kitchen floor.  Even though she never told him why she had gotten sick and shook for nearly an hour afterwards, Jon knew and never left their bed again without waking her. 

“I’ll wash up and we’ll lay down, yeah?” Shaking the dust off his hands, he helped her stand up and called out to Robb to let him know they were going inside.  Robb waved, and Jon took her in the house.  “Come with me.  I’ll help you shower.”

“I’m not an invalid Jon!” she said crossly.  “I can still bathe myself!”

“I know,” he said.  “I just want to…please?”

Sansa huffed.  “Fine.”

Under the hot water, Jon soaped Sansa up, kneading the muscles in her back, hips, and buttocks.  He knew they were aching and she usually slept soundly when he did this for her.  Afterwards, he dried her skin and even put lotion on her back and across her belly to help with the itching.  She didn’t like sleeping in clothing during these hot months so she crawled into the bed naked, Jon followed.  Facing each other, his hand rested on her abdomen, his fingers tracing along it when he felt a kick.  The kicks had started out as little flutters only Sansa could feel and had progressed to full blown, visible movements.  Now that the babe was getting bigger, those kicks were giving way to obvious limbs pushing against Sansa’s already shiny skin. Jon enjoyed being able to see their little one move but he was sure it was driving Sansa crazy.

“It’s so weird to picture a person in there,” he said.  “I mean, we know it’s a person but it’s like an alien.”

“I sure hope not.  Didn’t go well for Sigourney Weaver,” Sansa joked.  “I’d rather have a natural childbirth.”

Jon grinned.  “Unless things are a lot more fucked up than we thought, I doubt you’ll have a creature shred through your body to freedom.”

“You and Robb need to quit watching movies like that.  And you have to quit cussing so much.  We’re going to have a sailor for a toddler.” 

Sansa stretched, moving her hips to adjust to what Jon assumed was another ache.  Her tiny body was taking a beating and he was pretty sure she hurt more than she let on.  She seemed restless more often, constantly moving and changing positions.  He wasn’t the only one filled with tension.  Jon pressed his thumb into the juncture of her hips to her thigh, rubbing some more to help her sleep.  He raised an eyebrow when she rolled her pelvis into his hand. 

They hadn’t had sex since Robb had shown up.  Sansa’s morning sickness had gone well into her second trimester and exhaustion between the two of them had put intimacy on the back burner.  Well, not all intimacy.  They still slept skin-on-skin, his arms around her and he made sure to touch her lovingly but it wasn’t really sexual in nature.  He figured he’d wait for her and if she didn’t want sex until after the baby was born, he would gladly wait.  It was the least he could do with putting her in this condition.  But this…this was more than she had done in months.

“Sansa?” he questioned.

She looked at him sheepishly, a pink tinge to her cheeks.  Taking the hint, he kissed her, his hand moving lower until it rested over the patch of hair at the juncture of her thighs.  Her lips on his became more aggressive, spurring him to slip his finger through her folds and press against her clitoris.  Her back arched and her hand came around his neck, her nails scratching lightly into the back of his hair.

“Do you want me to bring you off sweetheart?” he asked.  “I’ll be careful.  And it will help you sleep.”  He felt like he was trying to sell her on the idea but he wanted her approval before going any farther.  She nodded her head against the side of his face.  “Relax your body.  I’m going to take care of you.”

There was no point in the slow seduction, her body was too cumbersome to glide against him the way she normally would so he moved down, settling himself between her legs and kissing the top of her pubic hair.  Holding her on her side with a pillow, he put her leg over his shoulder and began licking gently.  He was surprised by how easily she reached her peak, both quick and without much effort on his part.  It had been too long.  When he came back up, spooning against her back, she pressed her butt against his cock.

“Careful sweetie,” he warned.  “He’s ready for action.  It’ll go down in a while.”

“Fuck me Jon,” Sansa blurted out.

The sound the came from the back of his throat was out of his control.  It had been months and the offer was tempting.

“It’s okay,” he whispered.  “Get some rest.  I can handle this myself.”

“I told you to fuck me,” Sansa said.  “It wasn’t a request.  I want to feel you inside me.  Make me yours again.”

“You’ve always been mine,” he responded.  “I don’t have to fuck you to know that.  But..do you really want me to?”

“Please!”  She was grinding her hips against him again, driving him mad.

He lifted her lift with a hand under her knee and carefully entered her.  She was very wet and the heat of her body pulled at him.  His strokes were slow and measured, careful to not be too rough with her in this condition.  From his viewpoint, he could see her eyelashes flutter with each thrust, the pretty scarlet hue she got when aroused spreading over her alabaster skin.  He rested her leg over his, freeing his hand to move around her belly and rub circles against her nub.  She whimpered next to his ear, his other hand coming over her shoulder and wrapping loosely around her throat to hold her against him.  When she came, he couldn’t remember her ever being as beautiful during their lovemaking as she was at that moment.  His release felt like stress pouring out of his body, leaving him spent and weak.

Jon held to her tightly, pulling the sheet over their bodies without moving away from her.  He was still connected to her and he wasn’t ready to pull away.  He nuzzled his face into her hair and for the first time in months, felt at peace.  All of the problems and fears didn’t matter in here and it occurred to him that from then on, he would be leaving everything at the door of their bedroom.  He would love his woman with no hesitations or lingering thoughts beyond what they were doing at that very moment.  It was the only way they were going to get through the shit show their lives had become. 


	12. Welcome to the World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sansa goes into labor. Jon and Robb manage to not lose their minds and a new member of the First Gen is born.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have had this sitting on my computer for a couple of months now. Last week I found it and made sure I kept it open so I'd force myself to write on it a little bit every day.  
> I'm still coming up with things to write and add to all my stories. This past year has been a strange mix of heartache and joys. Now that the kids are out of school, including one that has now graduated into adulthood, I'm hoping to have more time to write in between the drudgery that is pursuing my MBA.

            Waking up to Sansa gone in the middle of the night had the same effect on Jon as when he had done it to her weeks before.  He was on his feet instantly, relying on his knowledge of the layout of the room in the inky blackness of the night.  As his hand turned the knob on their bedroom door, he heard something from the bathroom, a squeak followed by panting.

 

            “Sansa?”  He pushed the door open, finding her on the tile floor. She was sitting on her calves, her hands braced against the floor by arms flexed so hard he could make out every muscle.  Strands of her red hair stuck against her forehead with sweat, white streaks dried down her cheeks from what had to be her tears.  “Fuck!” He gritted out through his teeth before dropping down beside her and pulling her against his chest.

 

            Jon kissed the top of her head, rocking back and forth in some strange yet instinctual motion. After a couple of minutes, he realized his pajama pants were wet and looked to see the source of the moisture, it puddled underneath Sansa.  “Your water broke?”

 

            Sansa nodded, her eyes clenched tightly closed and lips pressed into a thin line.  A few seconds later, her body relaxed and she took a deep breath.  “I went to the toilet and when I stood up, it went everywhere!”

 

            “How long ago?”

 

            “A couple of hours.” Sansa grabbed his hand, her fingers gripping it hard and squeezing as she tensed again. 

 

            “Jesus San! Hours?  You should have…”. Jon stopped.  The look she gave him threatening to melt the very skin off his face. “Baby, I’m sorry.  I just….I would have preferred to have helped you.”

 

            “I think you’ve helped me enough.”  She rolled her eyes.  “Okay, that was an asshole thing to say.  Sorry for being an asshole.”

 

            “You’re not an asshole. I imagine you’re going to say much worse to me before this over.”  He brushed her hair back from her face before placing his hands on her cheeks and pressing his forehead to hers.  “Don’t be scared.  I’ll be scared enough for both of us, okay?  I’m going to get Robb and we’re gonna get you off this floor.”

 

            “Jon!  No!  I don’t want Robb to see this!”  Sansa’s eyes were wide.  “It’s going to be gross.”

 

            “I can’t do this on my own love,” he said.  “I need Robb’s help.  We’ve already kind of worked out how we’re going to do this.  Put your arms around my shoulders and I’m going to get you into the bedroom.”

 

            Sansa did as she was told, nearly strangling him when another contraction gripped her, her stomach tightening painfully.  She whimpered as she burrowed her face into his neck making Jon’s heart seize in his chest. All the books and videos in the World couldn’t have prepared him for this.  The diagrams and film footage of other women giving birth seemed clinical but this was different.  This was his woman.  His Sansa. 

 

            Jon got her to their bed, laying her down gently and moving the pillows around to make her more comfortable.  Grabbing a towel, his face burned with embarrassment as he tucked it underneath her. “You’ll kill me if I make a mess on the bed.”

 

            Her laugh caught him off guard.  “I don’t see you being the one to make the mess but yes, this is good.”

 

            Jon went to their dresser, removing a little bag before returning to the bed and sitting down. “Before I go get Robb, I want to…discuss something.  I know I haven’t really told you much about my childhood but um…I’m a bastard and I thought we had a few more weeks left and I really don’t want our child to be a bastard like me.  I mean, we can’t file paperwork or anything but I got these rings in town a few months ago and I was thinking that maybe we could…well…I mean…I guess it really wouldn’t be getting married but for what it would be as things stand now…I’d like to…Would you consider being my wife?  If we hurry, we could do a little ceremony before this new person shows up and then…you know…like lie to her and tell her we got married nine months before she was born…and…yeah.”

 

            Sansa laughed again. “Oh for fuck sake Jon!  Put the ring on me!”  He fumbled with the little bag but managed to get the gold band on her finger and she placed the other one on his.  “We’re not doing a fucking ceremony while I have a human coming out of my body.  We’re married.  And yes, we are totally lying to him!”

 

            Jon was already exhausted.  His heart felt like it was pumping a million times a minute as he ran across to hall to get Robb and to his brother-in-law’s credit, he came out of his bed almost as fast as Jon had. 

           

            “Should I go boil water or something?” Robb asked.

 

            “No, dumbass.  We already went over all of this.  Nowhere in any of the books did it say that we needed boiling water.  We just have to make sure everything is clean and sanitary.  The supplies we got from the hospital will be fine.  Let’s just make sure we help Sansa, okay?”  Jon scrubbed his face with his hands.  “Her water already broke so I think it’s just a waiting game at this point.”

 

            “I can’t believe we thought we could deliver a fucking baby,” Robb said.  “We’ve lost the goddamn plot man.”

 

            “Don’t use the Lord’s name in vain,” Jon snapped.  “At least right now.  We need him on our side for a while.”

 

            Robb grinned.  “We are so fucked.”

 

            “I am very much aware of that.”

 

            Sansa had gotten back on her hands and knees in the bed.  Swaying back and forth while she took took breaths in between panting. Her face was so pink it almost matched her hair that was sweaty and in her face again.  Jon quickly got on the bed with her, pressing his fingers into her back and massaging.  Her nails dug into his bare thigh, making him yelp without thinking.  He was going to be a bloody mess before this was over. 

 

He really wished they had access to legitimate medical care, a way to relieve her pain so she didn’t have to suffer through this. He thought back to the night he had taken her virginity, the pain he saw on her face was horrific then but now it seemed like nothing more than a stubbed toe.  Jon had experience with pain on the battlefield, both his own and the suffering of his comrades but he had read in one of the books that giving birth was only second to being burned alive on the pain scale, he couldn’t even wrap his mind around what Sansa must be going through.

 

“Get her a hair tie.”  Jon pointed at the dresser.  He began to plait Sansa’s hair back, being careful to not yank it but making sure it was firmly held and out of her face.  He wrapped the rubber around the end and brushed the little strands from her forehead.  “Go get some ice from the freezer.  And some wash clothes.  We’re going to need the blankets for the baby too.”

 

Robb ran from the room.

 

“San,” Jon said.  “I need to see where the baby is.”

 

A low growl came from her throat.  “It’s in my uterus dumbass.”

 

Jon didn’t mean to laugh.  He knew he would pay for it dearly later.  “Um…yeah…I actually meant in relation to its imminent arrival.  I need to check for your effacement, the baby’s station, and how far you’re dilated.”

 

“You would memorize every word,” she huffed. “Ow, Ow, Ow….You’re not putting your fingers in there!”

 

“Sansa!  Cut it out! For fuck sake,” Jon argued.  “It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve had my fingers in your….”

 

“Oh shut the fuck up!”  Robb had returned with the ice and blankets.  “Dude….we’re cool and all but she’s still my sister.”

“No, she’s a woman giving birth,” Jon said. “And my statement stands.  Please Sansa…We have to do this.”

 

Sansa glared.  “Fine.  But don’t get too randy with it.”

 

“I really don’t see that being a problem sweetling.”  Jon directed Robb to get behind Sansa to help her onto her back and make both of them more comfortable by Robb not having to see what was going on.  His fingers met with resistance immediately, Jon jumping back alarmed.  “Oh…shit…..San…the baby is right there.”

 

“What do you mean right there?” She asked.

 

“I just touched it’s head!  I think….”. Jon’s eyes were wide, the panic digging into him.  He ran to the bathroom, scrubbing his hands and grabbing the blankets as he came back into the bedroom.

 

“Sweetheart,” Jon said soothingly.  “You’re going to push now.”

 

“I’m so tired Jon,” she whimpered.  “I need to rest.  I don’t think I can do this right now.”

 

Jon moved up the bed, his lips at her ear. He cupped her face in his hand, stroking her cheek with his thumb.  “Baby, I know this hurts. I can’t even imagine how bad….”. He kissed behind her ear. “You are so strong.  You know that right?  You’re so beautiful and I love you so much.  I never imagined having a woman like you in my life and I think I’m the luckiest bastard in the World.  I should have said this well before now but I know what you are sacrificing and suffering through for our family and I promise you….I swear to you…that I will love and protect you and our children for the rest of our lives.” He could feel Sansa’s body jerking with her sobs. “Sweetheart, it’s time.  We have to do this okay?  I know you’re tired, it’s been a long night and you’ve given so much.  Just a little more and we’ll have our baby in our arms.”

 

“Okay….”. She nodded.  “Okay..yeah…okay…I can do this.  Not that I have a choice but I can do this…”. Her fingers gripped his shoulder hard, causing him to wince.  “I need to take this nightgown off.”

 

Jon almost laughed at the look on Robb’s face. “Robb…seriously.” 

 

Robb rolled his eyes but helped Sansa sit up while Jon pulled the gown over Sansa’s head.  Jon made eye contact with Robb, a silent understanding moving between them.

 

“Here goes nothing.”  Jon moved back between Sansa’s legs, moving them to give him easier access.  Sansa began panting again, a contraction taking hold of her.  “I need you to give a little push.  Not a big one.  I need to see how this is going to work.”

 

Sansa nodded and pushed.  She gasped and whimpered, holding onto Robb’s arm tightly.

 

“Oh wow,” Jon said.  “Okay, so half the baby’s head is out so I guess you should do another little push.”

 

He hadn’t gotten the words out of his mouth before Sansa repeated the motion and the baby’s head emerged.  Jon could hear his heartbeat in his ears as he supported the head in his palm.  “Do you have another push in you?  A good hard one?”

 

Seconds later, the baby slid into Jon’s hands. The quickness of the whole thing shocked him but he looked down, his eyes wide.  He looked up at Sansa, her face mirroring his.  Even Robb seemed taken aback.  He quickly placed the baby on Sansa’s chest.

 

“Robb!  Blanket!” He barked. 

 

Sansa held the baby tightly to her, from Jon’s viewpoint he realized their baby was a boy.

 

“He’s a boy!” Jon exclaimed.  “A boy!  We have a son!”

 

Sansa laughed.  Robb put the blanket over the baby, wiping carefully before switching it out with a clean, dry blanket.  The baby began crying and Jon was able to finally take a breath of relief.  He moved quickly to clamp off the umbilical cord and severe the connection between Sansa and the baby.  The delivery of the placenta happened within a few moments and all that was left was to clean up and tend to Sansa.

 

“That was….damn…I didn’t expect it to go that fast,” Jon said.  He was still in a state of shock when he realized the baby wasn’t crying anymore. He looked to Sansa to see the baby had latched onto her breast and was nursing as Sansa caressed his little cheek with her finger.  The baby had a full head of black hair.  Sansa continued nursing while Jon positioned pads underneath her for the bleeding.

 

“He’s perfect Jon,” Sansa said.  “Absolutely perfect.”

 

“Are you okay?  How are you feeling?” Jon asked. 

 

“I’m cold,” she said.  “I’m freezing..”

 

“Oh yeah,” Jon said.  He grabbed the blankets, pulling them up and over her. “I read about this.  It’s normal.”

 

Sansa grabbed his arm before he could move away from her.

 

“Jon,” she said.  “Slow down.  You haven’t even stopped to look at your son.”

 

In all of the chaos, Jon had been so focused on making sure to follow the procedures he had memorized and taking care of Sansa that he had only seen a flash of the baby and the back of his head.  He saw down on the bed, moving the receiving blanket back from the babe’s face.  In that moment, he saw the brightest blue eyes. Their son had Sansa’s eyes.  His hair was drying and a hint of curls were popping up.  They stayed there for about ten minutes, watching their son nurse and smiling stupidly at one another.

 

“Can you take him?”  Sansa asked.  “I need to clean up and you know….deal with the girl thing.”

 

Robb came into the room, a tray of food in his hands.  Jon took the baby, wrapping him more securely in the blanket.  He walked around the bed to stand in front of Robb.  “Here Uncle Robb…it’s your first babysitting job.”

 

“Uh, dude…yeah I don’t know if I’m qualified to be handling a newborn,” Robb said.  “Just put him in the crib thing.”

 

“Robb.” Jon smiled.  “Take your nephew.  You’ll be fine.  I need to help Sansa.”

 

“I’m fine.  I’ll take care of it on my own,” Sansa said, trying to get up.  Her legs were wobbly and she hadn’t anticipated the pain that wracked her body as she attempted to straighten herself.  “Ow ow ow ow ow ow.”  She was hunched over, trying to make her way to the bathroom.

 

“Robb!” Jon barked.  He carefully handed the baby to Robb.  “Support his head, alright?”

 

Robb looked like a deer in the headlights.  He held the infant firmly against his chest, instinctually rocking back and forth as he patted his backside.  The babe felt like nothing in his arms, it was weird that this was a human being.  Robb walked around the room while Jon took Sansa to wash.  His mind was racing, the remnants of fear and adrenaline fading back into the background.  He silently thanked the Gods for what had ended up being a relatively quick and uncomplicated delivery.  Over the months, he and Jon had prepared for every worst case scenario they could.  They had scoured books, videos, medical files in an effort to know everything they could and prepare for every possibility.  In the end, it was as if Sansa’s body knew exactly how to give birth. He supposed that made sense. Women had been birthing babes since before the advent of modern medicine but many of those women had also died in the process. 

Jon’s own Mother had died of fever after giving birth to him, something he knew wasn’t far from his buddy’s mind.   A lot of conversations took place between him and Jon as they worked on the farm, taking care of the animals and tending to the crops.  There had many a time that Robb had looked to the sky, silently thanking whatever was up there for leading Sansa to Jon.  The World was no longer the relatively safe and steady one of their childhood.  If something were to happen to him, he knew Sansa would be taken care of and protected by Jon.

Robb had been lost in thought until he looked down and realized his nephew was asleep.  He carefully put the boy in the crib, pulling a chair up next to it to watch him sleep.  If Sansa came out of the bathroom and found the newborn by himself, he knew she would go crazy.  He could hear the water in the shower turn on and Sansa’s soft whimpers.  It didn’t surprise him that she would maintain a stiff upper lip through all of this, it wasn’t in the Stark nature to whine or carry on.  But after what he had just seen her do, she could cry for weeks and he’d still think she was a bad ass woman.

In the bathroom, Jon’s focus was on Sansa. He had tried to run a bath for her but she refused.  She didn’t want to be in the tub any longer than need be, insisting on returning to their son as quickly as she could.  Jon had argued against a shower because she wasn’t steady on her feet but like most of their arguments, Sansa won.  He did get a small win though when he stripped his own clothing against her protests and stood in the shower with her.

“Jon…do you always have to be so chivalrous?” She was attempting to sound stern but she had neither the energy or the reason to be upset with him.  “This is messy.”

Jon rolled his eyes.  “I think we’ve surpassed the need to be concerned about messes, especially when it comes to child birth.  Just let me help you get cleaned up.  In the meantime, what are we going to call him?”

Sansa paused.  “I don’t know.  We need to figure it out for sure though.”

“Well…if we don’t hurry up, Robb is going to name him his Junior,” Jon teased.  “How about James?  Or Michael? Or Brandon?”

Sansa eyes went wide.  “Brandon.  His name is Brandon.”

“That was quick.”  He grabbed a towel, wrapping it around her.

“It sounds right,” Sansa said.  “And we can always come up with something better for our next kid.”

Jon leaned over, helping her get undergarments on.  “Next kid?  I don’t think we’re responsible for singlehandedly repopulating the Earth Sansa.”

“We can’t leave him alone,” Sansa said.  Jon pulled her nightgown over her head and down her body. “When we are gone, our kids will still have each other.”

“Where are we going?” he asked.

“I don’t mean immediately but we have to face the reality that we are still mortal, regardless of the event and since we lack medical care and most other modern conveniences,” she said.  “The odds are good that our life expectancy is going to revert back to what it was before technology.  Seeing thirty was considered good and fifty was elderly.”

Jon didn’t respond, choosing instead to help her back to the bed which Robb has already cleaned up and had ready for her. He found himself lost in thought, the accuracy of her words ringing in his head.  Sansa was right.  They no longer had the benefit of going to the doctor when they were ill.  Cancer was no longer curable though still a threat. Even childbirth…the female mortality rate before modern medicine was horrific.  The luck they had with Brandon’s birth had been just that, luck.  Sansa was young and healthy.  There hadn’t been any complications so far and it would be foolish to assume that was the standard.  Yet Sansa wanted more children and in the days before everyone disappeared, he would have been more than happy to give her babe after babe until she refused to let him touch her again but this was different.  This would be taking her life in their hands every time she fell pregnant.  He understood Sansa’s reasoning but he wasn’t sure he could risk losing her to ensure Brandon didn’t have to be alone.  The fact that there were others still in the World gave him hope that maybe Brandon would still find a mate and live a normal life.  Brandon has no knowledge of what the World was before everything happened so anything he does in his life will be normal for him.  There was a good chance he wouldn’t even know he was missing anything.

Jon couldn’t spend any more time thinking over the problem.  Sansa was in bed and he could see the exhaustion on her face.  Brandon was nursing, drowsy and completely unaware of what his birth meant to the World at large.  Jon whispered Sansa’s name, pointing at the door to tell her he was going downstairs.  He needed to speak to Robb.

Robb was standing in the kitchen, cooking eggs and ham on the stove.  Jon hadn’t eaten since the afternoon before and the sun was beginning to peak over the horizon.  It had been a long night and the smell of the food made his mouth water.

“Don’t put the pans in the sink,” Jon said.  “I’m going to make Sansa and I some when you’re done.”

“I’m already making you guys some food,” Robb said. “I went with a high protein meal because…I don’t know…just seemed like she would need something like this.  She had a rough run.”

“All in all, it was a fantastic delivery.” Jon sat down at the breakfast bar. “But I don’t know what we’re going to do now.  Brandon makes things a lot more complicated.”

“Brandon?”  Robb raised his eyebrow.

“Aye,” Jon said.  “That’s the name Sansa picked.”

“Good name,” Robb responded.  “And yeah, I feel you.  It’s not even my kid and he’s already got me wrapped around his little finger.  So much danger in the World today.”  He paused, looking at Jon gravely.  “We can’t let any of the evil touch him.  We have to protect him with everything we have.”

“If things stay the way we have them now, we will be able to raise him without the interference.  But, what happens when he gets older and starts maturing?  He’s still going to want a partner and to have a family and all that.  He’s going to go out to seek it.”  Jon rubbed his eyes.

“Yeah but in the meantime, we have to raise him to be strong and teach him how to survive and defend himself.  This is a World a child can be coddled in.”  Robb handed Jon a plate full of food.  “You understand what I mean, yeah?”

Jon nodded.  “I’m going to take this upstairs.  We’ll see you in a little bit.”

“Yup,” Robb said.  “And Jon….don’t tell all of this to Sansa.  You know what she’ll do.”

“Not a fucking word,” Jon said.


End file.
